It is very important to keep a supportive network of people around you.
When times got tough and I felt like quitting it takes just one word to make or break me. I choose to hang on to any morsel of support I could get when I was faced with challenges, when I felt like giving up and it was just too hard to continue, life goes on with or without me, with or without my contribution, it is so easy to succumb to pressure and choose to
believe the naysayers or the “words of logic” spoken by those who said those words out of misguided concern without really knowing what keeps your fire burning inside.
”The only person who makes you feel negative is YOU.” Thank you Pooja Rajan for reminding me this today. 💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️ With great gratitude. I am reminded again and again of just how much blessed I am. I choose to not feel like victim and I allow myself to step into my full power right now.
Thank you to every person who touched my life, in every way, even those who provoked negative thoughts and reactions from me, we only learn when there is a curve, not when we drive on a straight road. I am a better person thanks to Life’s lessons.
Life has been a great compassionate teacher to me.
I am who I am today, a woman who is so powerful I can do whatever I want anytime I want to if I put my mind and heart to it, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need reminder from time to time, my deepest gratitude to everyone who supported me from birth till now, my family and friends and of course that includes my siblings, parents, relatives and friends and most importantly the one closest to me now - my Husband Lee Chong Siang Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Judge me all you want,
Call me a coward,
Call me lazy,
Call me not doing anything worthwhile,
Call me useless,
Give me that look of disgust,
Give me that eye of pity,
Look down on me,
Look and sneer at me,
Call me a coward for wanting to escape it all,
When everything seems bleak and no point to it all,
Say all that you want,
I finally don’t care anymore.
Let me Rest In Peace.
- Depression is Real, It is a Silent Killer, Continue Judging something you don’t feel, Go On, Feel good about yourself.
Thank you very much.
To raise awareness of understanding depression.
I feel that many adults (me included) are suffering from some form of depression or childhood trauma, which results in some undesirable things that we do.
Now, now don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing serious although in some cases the cases are really serious. It’s day to day “normal” thing. Like “Don’t speak, a child is supposed to be seen not heard”, and the child learns to shut up and fears to speak or express feelings to anyone, which resulted in the basis of dysfunctional future relationships because I truly believe in the importance of sharing and speaking and expressing our feelings and creating a safer space for everyone in the relationship to reciprocate the sharing.
So when I encounter such adults in life, I see myself in them. I learned not to take the “abuse” or hurtful remarks or action against me as “personal” by taking this approach to see an aspect of myself in them. Internalising it to not take It personally, if that makes sense.
I see a little child inside of that person. The child as per the picture below.
A child who needs validation, needs a safe space just to be, needs a safe space to tell the truth even though the truth hurts, and a safe space to make mistakes and not be judged.
I am NOT condoning the wrong and the hurt and harm these people may have caused, if they killed someone they need to be judged by court and face legal consequences, if they steal then they must return whatever they stole and pay for it with legal consequences... I am writing this for YOU. Yes You and Me. People who were “victims”.
I use the past tense “were”.
We were victims. We ARE no longer victims now. It is our choice to walk away from our past with our Chin high up. Not with boastful pride but with dignified elegance, with GRACE.
When we don’t resort to wanting to hurt the other person back, we break the cycle of “you hurt me, I hurt you back, you hurt me even more, I hurt you back even more, etc”.
The BUCK STOPS HERE.
AND IT STOPS NOW WITH ME.
All of us have the power within us to make the buck stop here and have peace within. And with the peace within May the World be peaceful too.That’s my prayer for myself and for the World.
All pics are from Pixabay unless stated on the watermark with proper credit.
A parent’s prayer for their children: Unbreakable bond that lasts Long after their parents are gone. ❤
Who is Sue Tiong?
I’m a Mother first before I am a Wife and a Daughter and a sister and a friend. I am a woman in my own right. These do get different priorities at different time in life but they will always be my TOP 6. ❤
My career comes in 7th. Yes it may seem too slow or Too fast. You may not be able to fathom this woman called Sue Tiong. #SueTiong is a Mother and wife first, and a woman in her own right and doesn’t fit into any boxes or stereotype.
I get women who asked me don’t I miss my kids when I travel for my career. I used to feel extreme and deep GUILT when I get these remarks. I feel judged.
And I do get looks of pity from men when they asked me who takes care of my kids when I travel; the answer is my darling hubby. They pity my hubby for having me as a Wife. 🤷🏼♀️
I used to feel an extreme sense of being irresponsible and I even felt I was worthless as a mother and a Wife... as a Daughter who’s always absent and a Sister and Friend who’s only available online and never in person.
The feeling of GUILT and Shame ate into my very core and the feeling isn’t something I’d like to revisit anytime soon. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my enemy.
THE BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENED WHEN I REALISED:
❤ My kids still love me no matter what.
❤ My Husband still supports and loves me no matter what.
❤ My parents and siblings and friends still give me their full blessings regardless of what I decide to do as Long as I am happy and comfortable (I take care of my well-being) - My Father named me Comfortable and Happy as the meaning of my Chinese name. Oh yes my name is still shortish, three syllables including my surname Tiong. There, I do have a middle name Yii. It means happy.
Today I reclaim my birth right to be happy:
I’ve left out the Happy Joyful word from my name for more than a decade. Time to reclaim it. Time to be truly happy.
I shall be happy and joyful and not let others’ opinion of me taint my feelings towards what I already know very well is my calling and destiny.
I have no right to judge anyone as I don’t live your life. If I am judged oh well it isn’t your life. And your opinion of me doesn’t pay the bills. 😊
May everyone find inner peace and joy. 🙏🏻❤
Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy. Most don't care, many don't want to hear them and some are Glad you have them. Address your concerns to those who truly care, and only YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF.
And so #SueTiong Writes again.
I've been guilty of playing victim for the longest time, "woe is me", it's never my fault entirely and I use my gift of gab to argue or present my case cleverly to make the others look bad, I didn't realise it at that time until some tough love lessons were delivered to me in the past two years and slowly I become more Aware when this pattern of playing victim started all over again and my goal is to nip it in the bud when I catch this habit pattern each time.
I am not sure about men, but for me as a female, a highly sensitive female with my heart on my sleeve, I sometimes played the matyr as well. I will launch into a full on project or Mission to help someone or some cause and when something happened not to my expectation the entire cycle of "boohoo woe is me, all my sacrifice for nothing" internal talk happens again. I don't announce it to the world (at that time) but what I will do is to seethe inside and let the resentment fester, and when I got a cancer scare, it was a wake up call for me to take a hard look at my thought habit pattern in my life and how I generate these thoughts and the motivation behind them.
What have I found so far?
1. We are all work in progress until the day we die. Celebrate every small win along the way. Ultimately there is NO FINAL GOAL because once you have scaled the highest peak, you will find that there is another higher peak for you to climb and once you reach that higher peak, you realise it's not the highest peak And so you proceed and walk on and soldier on. 💪🏻What's the process of scaling all the peaks if we draw it in a single line? The line will be a curve that is up and down and up and down and up and down and that's life!!! Just because you see another higher goal doesn't mean you need to discount your current achievement of making it to the current peak! Celebrate each win, no matter how small or insignificant! We deserve it! 🎉
2. Just like brushing our teeth daily, so does the same practice of purifying our thoughts, unless of course we choose not to live anymore so we don't need to consume any food, hence our mind won't be fed with any stimulation or input, which is impossible as Long as we are still alive. Being present in the moment, be compassionate, catch our unwholesome thoughts and transmute negativity into love peace and joy, as corny as it sounds, we need a regular detox, mind, body and soul. So do what you need to do. ☺
3. Trust. I have learned to trust a few people after being burned many times by others. Don't lose faith and don't lose your trust. With each betrayal, I look at the lesson, I learn how to discern true friends who are really concerned about you as opposed to those who aren't so invested in your well being. Trust the process of hurt and continue to trust. We will all go through that and your tribe will come to you, just continue to trust, especially trusting yourself.😍
4. It's okay to say NO and take back your words. Change is okay. While accountability states that we need to keep to our words and commitment, depending on the situation and circumstances and changes, sometimes it is okay to back out when things don't work out. You can't force it. There's no happiness in force. So there, release your guilt and move on. You don't owe anyone any explanation, just follow your instincts. The only person you need to answer to is you and you alone. 👌🏻
5. Forgive yourself. Start by forgiving yourself. And the rest shall fall into place. It took me many years to realise this and of course I'm still a work in progress. Self preservation and self care are not sins, forgive yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. ❤
6. Have a look deep look within yourself on a daily basis. Spend time with yourself. Be quiet and be still. I never dared to be quiet or be still it was like I couldn't stand the silence and needed to talk at each moment. So for the extrovert right brained people, I feel you. Took a lot of inner resolve to be still and yes while I am still a work in progress, I'm Glad to take the advice from well meaning individuals who care and now I like spending time with myself alone and in silence. Try it! ⭐
7. We all have the answers when we ask any question.💡
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AND THEN WHAT?
Since Sue is writing again, expect this to be pretty Long. Popcorns ready.
I had five back to back conference calls today including many conversations this evening at a business networking event.
Connected with a few of them and I realised that ultimately, the theme is the same.
"What next after you have fame, wealth, fortune?"
You have food on the table, a roof over your head, you are mobile and can get around, you have a reputation, strong presence, a family, a career, SUCCESS, in other words you want for nothing, so what is next?
If you do business only for money, after awhile all you will get is money and only money.
There will be a void inside that money can't fill up.
You will find that money cannot take away your misery, at least not permanently.
You will crave for the fastest newest edition of your gadgets, your luxury cars, I am not one for cars but I am guilty of that for my phones, I have more than 4 phones, guilty as charged.
I justify them with the lamest reasons, like I need to be connected all the time, it is a false need, I survived 12 days without my phone at my silent retreat and I didn't die 😂.
You may indulge in intoxicants or crave for the high that alcohol or recreational drugs provide, you escape that void inside for awhile and then what? That is only a quick fix, or is it really a fix or a plaster over an infected open wound?
Deep inside there is a longing to cry out loud or just to get someone to truly understand the pain you feel inside... what is this void inside, why do I keep reverting to my old thinking habits that makes me seem like a hamster on the wheel, the only problem is... the wheel is turning but the hamster has passed out.
In this chase for more and MORE AND MORE, after you have more, you want more. The rush of adrenaline, the high you get when you are elated, the blood rushing to your head when you are excited. And then the crash comes... AND THEN WHAT.
There was a time when I feel like I was just going through the motion, I knew I had to keep moving or else I will be consumed by the void.
The fear to face the void was very true.
I felt like escaping, like you are on the run and you are only running from your own shadow.
Inside, deep inside, you feel so tired and you question everything that you know and you doubt everything and everyone you know. Oh yes, broken business partnerships, death of friendships and relationship, we have our own day to day struggles.
Then I realised I was just running away from my own shadow. My fear was totally unfounded.
And when I talk to people, and I look into their eyes, I see me, I see my fear, I see my hope, we are all the same. We have the same feelings. We are all humans.
Money buys happiness but it cannot bring you true joy and peace.
Happiness is good. Joy is deep.
Peace is one thing many with money is lacking nowadays. I had a glimpse of inner peace earlier this month when I was a nobody and only a number on the list and not talking to anyone of the 100 over people... It was not exactly a holiday, it was a break with hard work, working to face my inner demons and fulfilling my commitment to stay the entire 10 days. It was the best proudest achievement of mine so far, for staying on and for making sure I completed the strict regime right till the end, I will go again next year. ❤️
For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, check out this link: https://www.dhamma.org/en/index
Oh don't get me wrong, I am not going to give up life as I know it or sell off all my businesses and become a recluse or a nun.
AND NOW WHAT?
I finally found some peace. And my heart is bursting with joy and love, that I want to share this with anyone who is looking for some peace, joy and love.
And to truly smile from the heart, that feeling is simply amazing. 🙏🏻😊❤️
Something is brewing, something beautiful, something which aims to spread the art of living in peace and blending harmoniously with our pursuit of wealth. Now that is exciting! I have decided not to upgrade my phone for the next one year because I HAVE ENOUGH, and I have all that matters now.
And I choose not to let the little voice of doubt inside take over my decisions. I AM NOT A BAD MOTHER FOR LEAVING my children while I travel. Whatever that I do is with them in mind. Just because you cannot understand why I can't do it your way doesn't mean that my way is wrong. Yes, I finally found peace because my biggest obstacle is my definition of being a good Mother. I cannot be the perfect Mother, I can only be a good Mother who is happy and at peace. I truly am at peace now and I am happy. ❤️
Once my energy shifted, the people around me shifted as well. Some got drawn closer, some seemed to be repelled and backed off and some totally exited my life. The only permanent thing in life is CHANGE. The only definite thing in life is DEATH. The only chance we have is NOW.
So live in the moment. I CHOOSE ME. I choose to continue being me. I shall help whoever I want and I shall act on my gut feelings and intuition/6th sense whatever you call it; it has served me well over the years.
As I enter my late 30s getting closer to 40, I am Glad all the pain happened when they did and all the paths I took led me to right where I am now which is exactly where I needed to be.
On the 10th Anniversary of your death my precious baby, I can finally let you go... my angel. My firstborn who didn't even breathe even one gasp of air. You healed me physically and I allowed myself to grieve for you for 10 years like a living dead.
I am ready to let you go now my precious little angel. I knew you can't make it today before you finally left my body 2 weeks later, call it a mother's instinct. Thank you for coming into my life no matter how brief. I release all the guilt that I am a bad Mother for not being able to allow you to grow and live. I release you now my baby. I am finally at peace. ❤️
This blog post is dedicated to all women and men who have experienced the loss of a loved one in any way at all and also to all the human beings who feel that there is more to life than just birth, and money and death. May we all find inner peace and true joy within.
Happy Women's Day!
To all the beautiful women of the world! I may not have met all of you but I know we are more similar than any of us would fully admit! Also a big shoutout to all the confident men out there who support the women in their lives starting from their mother and then their sisters and female relatives, their female friends, their spouse/partner, their daughters, and the list goes on. THANK YOU for not letting the women in your life suffer!
Today is International Women's Day and may we all unite together in sisterhood and support each other!
No one woman is made the same yet our struggles are similar if not the same. Our emotions are the same, mothers feel the pain when another mother is feeling the pain, sisters feel the strain in relationship and bffs just get it and stay true and don't leave your side no matter how ugly your behaviour is for the day.
It is not really rocket science to deduce that WOMEN FOR WOMEN spirit is very much more needed in today's world where disparity and the gap is growing bigger when half of our sisters globally are being left behind due to them being born on the 'wrong side' of the world.
Let us lend a voice to all the women who could not enjoy freedom of speech.
Let us lend a hand to all the women who are physically confined and rendered helpless.
Let us shed some light to all the women who are in the dark and denied basic education.
Let us help in anyway we can for women to keep their children safe and sound, for women to have access to basic healthcare, for women to be able to have confidence and trust again in this world, to provide a beacon of hope to the women who felt the future is bleak and of course to all women out there, to let them know being different is beautiful, just the way we are born, no need for excessive and invasive procedures to conform to what the society deem as 'beautiful'.
Spread love, not hate. Happy Women's Day!
A collection of random pictures of the women in my life including my baby girl and her god mother. I love being a woman and I am proud of girl power!
Happy Women's Day to all females! May your beauty shine inside out and may your heart be filled with peace and joy.
As I sit here waiting for my next appointment in Bangkok I saw these plants and it triggered a childhood memory. These leaves are naturally shaped like this and I thought naively as a child my mother took the scissors and cut through its leaves everyday. Then in my childish curiosity I began to observe its leaves unfolding from its curled up bud and saw that it naturally has holes in them. I began to wonder why do these leaves have holes in them, that makes them so different from other "whole" leaves. This poignant memory made me realise that the leaves are beautiful, even with the so-called "defects", the holes are what make them unique and they are perfect just as they are. Embrace differences in our lives, see the beauty in each imperfection and see that life is beautiful with its good and bad. We grow in adversity, only in growth can we improve ourselves. #SueTiong
Happy birthday to my darling husband, my rock of support, my pillar of strength and my security net which catches me whenever I fall and my gentle wind that caresses my wounded soul that lent me the courage to try again after each time I stumble, my consistent safe space provider and my confidante who knows me as much as I know myself if not better, a loving father and hands on in everything that he does... we have grown so much since we have been together for more than 13 years our love have matured as we have physically aged, may we cherish more wonderful moments here and now and while I don't dare to think of the day we will part, I pray for many more happy years with you and our little family ahead.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR HUSBAND.
Love you for eternity.
Xoxo Sue Tiong
Well, yesterday I wrote this on my Facebook page:
Today I pushed the limit again and conquered my Fear of speaking to people whom I perceive are better than me, you see my audience are business people and entrepreneurs and I consider myself a baby in business. Who am I to teach or add value to these people who are mostly earning more than me? Anyway, I shared what I could and I got positive reviews just for being who I really am. I feel honoured and humbled at the same time. Thank you so much to World's No 1 Wealth Coach #JTFoxx for bringing My Beloved Coach Cherie Eilertsen for her unending support and rallying me all the way since we started our coaching relationship this year, it has been a good six months and she bowled me over again and again, each call just got better and better I ran out of words to describe the impact this powerful lady has brought to my life as a businesswoman! And also a big thanks for Mr Yap Keong Foon of Business Connection Hub www.fb.com/bchmalaysia for inviting me to speak and a pat to my own shoulder for accepting the invite and bite the bullet and do it anyway and to my long time friend and new biz partner Mei for her secret agent deftness in getting things done on the back end and last but not least to my darling husband CS Lee, the father of our two kids, for his sleepless nights helping me with the music editing and slides for my presentation, what would I do without all your love and support, it has been a great 2016 so far and there are 3 months and 2 weeks more to go!!! Let's make this year the best year yet!!! #allpumpedup #suetiong #motivation
Now that the immense relief has washed over, and 24 hours have passed since the event it is a good time for reflection. It has indeed been an eventful and fruitful 2016 so far and it will only get better from now on. Believe it shall and it will.
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