Great Things Never Came from Comfort Zones

Great Things Never Came From Comfort Zones
2019 is set to be a year of plunging us into very uncomfortable situations and the tests that will follow are bound to stretch our limits beyond what we experienced before. Change is the only constant. Embrace changes and go with the flow.  www.MeetSueTiong.com  

Importance of Keeping a Supportive Network

It is very important to keep a supportive network of people around you. When times got tough and I felt like quitting it takes just one word to make or break me. I choose to hang on to any morsel of support I could get when I was faced with challenges, when I felt like giving up and it was just too hard to continue, life goes on with or without me, with or without my contribution, it is so easy to succumb to pressure and choose to
Supportive Network Is Essential to Keep the Fire Within Burning
believe the naysayers or the “words of logic” spoken by those who said those words out of misguided concern without really knowing what keeps your fire burning inside. ”The only person who makes you feel negative is YOU.” Thank you Pooja Rajan for reminding me this today. 💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️ With great gratitude. I am reminded again and again of just how much blessed I am. I choose to not feel like victim and I allow myself to step into my full power right now. Thank you to every person who touched my life, in every way, even those who provoked negative thoughts and reactions from me, we only learn when there is a curve, not when we drive on a straight road. I am a better person thanks to Life’s lessons.
Help me stand strong
Life has been a great compassionate teacher to me. I am who I am today, a woman who is so powerful I can do whatever I want anytime I want to if I put my mind and heart to it, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need reminder from time to time, my deepest gratitude to everyone who supported me from birth till now, my family and friends and of course that includes my siblings, parents, relatives and friends and most importantly the one closest to me now - my Husband Lee Chong Siang Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The Buck Stops Here Now

I feel that many adults (me included) are suffering from some form of depression or childhood trauma, which results in some undesirable things that we do. 
Depression - How a child’s mental health is affecting adulthood
Now, now don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing serious although in some cases the cases are really serious. It’s day to day “normal” thing. Like “Don’t speak, a child is supposed to be seen not heard”, and the child learns to shut up and fears to speak or express feelings to anyone, which resulted in the basis of dysfunctional future relationships because I truly believe in the importance of sharing and speaking and expressing our feelings and creating a safer space for everyone in the relationship to reciprocate the sharing. 
Understanding how childhood trauma affects adulthood is of utmost importance
So when I encounter such adults in life, I see myself in them. I learned not to take the “abuse” or hurtful remarks or action against me as “personal” by taking this approach to see an aspect of myself in them. Internalising it to not take It personally, if that makes sense.
I see a little child inside of that person. The child as per the picture below. 
How to nurture a child’s mental health
A child who needs validation, needs a safe space just to be, needs a safe space to tell the truth even though the truth hurts, and a safe space to make mistakes and not be judged. 
Every human being has a little child inside that just wants to be heard, loved and feel safe.
I am NOT condoning the wrong and the hurt and harm these people may have caused, if they killed someone they need to be judged by court and face legal consequences, if they steal then they must return whatever they stole and pay for it with legal consequences... I am writing this for YOU. Yes You and Me. People who were “victims”. I use the past tense “were”.
Break Free
We were victims. We ARE no longer victims now. It is our choice to walk away from our past with our Chin high up. Not with boastful pride but with dignified elegance, with GRACE.  When we don’t resort to wanting to hurt the other person back, we break the cycle of “you hurt me, I hurt you back, you hurt me even more, I hurt you back even more, etc”. The BUCK STOPS HERE.    AND IT STOPS NOW WITH ME. 
Love really makes the world go round
All of us have the power within us to make the buck stop here and have peace within. And with the peace within May the World be peaceful too.  That’s my prayer for myself and for the World.  ❤ #SueTiong All pics are from Pixabay unless stated on the watermark with proper credit.

Who is Sue Tiong? A Mother’s Prayer, and a Mother’s Stand.

A parent’s prayer for their children: Unbreakable bond that lasts Long after their parents are gone. ❤
Elder Brother leading little Sister by the hand. Seeing my two kids holding hands and walking together made me see a glimpse of the future of what’s possible - unbreakable bond.
Who is Sue Tiong?
This is how I would want to be remembered as: Always with a smile, someone you Can talk to, and you can see the warmth in my eyes and see that I mean every word that I say and I mean every action that I do. ❤❤❤
Photography: Sherine Loh Sook Kuan
Hair: Lovely King
Makeup: My own hands #SueTiong
Dress: Jennice Choo Mobile Tailor
I’m a Mother first before I am a Wife and a Daughter and a sister and a friend. I am a woman in my own right. These do get different priorities at different time in life but they will always be my TOP 6. ❤ My career comes in 7th. Yes it may seem too slow or Too fast. You may not be able to fathom this woman called Sue Tiong. #SueTiong is a Mother and wife first, and a woman in her own right and doesn’t fit into any boxes or stereotype. 💃 I get women who asked me don’t I miss my kids when I travel for my career. I used to feel extreme and deep GUILT when I get these remarks. I feel judged. 😱
As a Woman My Country is the Whole World
And I do get looks of pity from men when they asked me who takes care of my kids when I travel; the answer is my darling hubby. They pity my hubby for having me as a Wife. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I used to feel an extreme sense of being irresponsible and I even felt I was worthless as a mother and a Wife... as a Daughter who’s always absent and a Sister and Friend who’s only available online and never in person. The feeling of GUILT and Shame ate into my very core and the feeling isn’t something I’d like to revisit anytime soon. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my enemy. THE BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENED WHEN I REALISED: ❤ My kids still love me no matter what.
My Husband, my rock, my pillar, my strong support, the man behind my success.
❤ My Husband still supports and loves me no matter what. ❤ My parents and siblings and friends still give me their full blessings regardless of what I decide to do as Long as I am happy and comfortable (I take care of my well-being) - My Father named me Comfortable and Happy as the meaning of my Chinese name. Oh yes my name is still shortish, three syllables including my surname Tiong. There, I do have a middle name Yii. It means happy. Today I reclaim my birth right to be happy:
Wishing everyone the opportunity to gain higher awareness deep within
I’ve left out the Happy Joyful word from my name for more than a decade.  Time to reclaim it. Time to be truly happy. ⭐ I shall be happy and joyful and not let others’ opinion of me taint my feelings towards what I already know very well is my calling and destiny.
If a small town girl from Borneo can make it, so can you. www.meetsuetiong.com
I have no right to judge anyone as I don’t live your life. If I am judged oh well it isn’t your life. And your opinion of me doesn’t pay the bills. 😊
www.meetsuetiong.com
May everyone find inner peace and joy. 🙏🏻❤

What Really Matters

Will you still love me when I am old and gray?
In the end what really matters is how we feel. What we really remember are the good feelings which come with our memories. ❤️ It doesn’t matter how good-looking you were when you were young or how successful you were, in the end what people will remember are the most beautiful heart and soul. #death is inevitable. #life is a choice every single moment. #SueTiong My son is greatly disturbed tonight when we answered his question on why humans grow old... and ultimately all who are born will die, old or young. Death is inevitable. Then he started asking me: Will Papa grow old and die? Will grandma grow old and die? Will grandpa grow old and die? Will auntie grow old and die? Will uncle grow old and die? Will khai Ma (godma) YP Wee grow old and die? Will my best friend grow old and die? Then he answered it himself by shaking his head vehemently with a frown on his head, no my best friend Yuan Shao will not grow old, he’s a small boy. Then a worried look came and he looked at me and asked will Auntie Ed die too? How about Uncle Jay Larimore? It broke my heart to see the pain in his eyes. My son Ray is only 4 years old with a sensitive nature and a gentle heart, bless his soul, then his next question really broke my heart: Who will I have left if everyone die? I hesitated for a second before replying that by the time everyone who is big now is old and dead, he would be a grown man like his papa and then he asked further, will there still be monsters??? I then said because he’s already big like Papa, he can fend off the monsters from his own children. He will become a Papa too. I said Papa’s mother is Popo and she has passed away because she was sick. Then Ray asked me, are you sick too? I nearly choked and replied, I am still okay, I am still alive, my son. I prodded him to go up because it was way past his bedtime, today being Friday. He got to his bed and frowned further. He hugged his bolster tightly with his eyes wide open. I snuggled up beside him and told him that everything is alright. The biggest lie any parent can tell is “Everything is alright”. He doesn’t look convinced that everything is alright. I can almost hear his little mind whirring and working and grasping the concept of death and old age. Then I kept very still and asked for a guidance to how best to close this topic and let him find closure and peace before he falls off into his slumber. This is what I told him when I took his hand and drew on his palm and touched his forehead and kissed him gently: “When Papa’s mother passed away, she was gently carried away and loved. Whatever you need, just ask and you will be given. Think happy thoughts, don’t be angry. If you are angry at us, and you keep repeating I don’t want mama, I don’t want Papa, then one day you will really don’t have mama or papa anymore because your request is granted. Be very careful with your words.” With the lesson delivered, I continued: “Just like how your Popo (papa’s mother) is protected and loved, you are very much loved too. See this unicorn blanket gifted by Auntie Jacqueline Koay, if you think you are still scared, like you are trapped in a fire and want to escape and fly far far away (he is fascinated by fire and fire engine lately) then you think happy thoughts and call the unicorn, the unicorn can fly and carry you away from the fire and keep you safe. Remember that many people love you very very much. Okay?” He nodded and I tucked him in. Now I know why we need Unicorns and monster fighters. Oh my dear baby boy, being your mother opens up a whole new world to me and every day is a lesson and a gift that I am beginning to treasure and appreciate even more with the passing of each and every day. Thank you my son for reminding me of the impermanence of life. ❤️

7 Lessons I’ve learned towards Self Awareness and Self Love

Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy.
Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy. Most don't care, many don't want to hear them and some are Glad you have them. Address your concerns to those who truly care, and only YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF. And so #SueTiong Writes again. ❤️ I've been guilty of playing victim for the longest time, "woe is me", it's never my fault entirely and I use my gift of gab to argue or present my case cleverly to make the others look bad, I didn't realise it at that time until some tough love lessons were delivered to me in the past two years and slowly I become more Aware when this pattern of playing victim started all over again and my goal is to nip it in the bud when I catch this habit pattern each time.   I am not sure about men, but for me as a female, a highly sensitive female with my heart on my sleeve, I sometimes played the matyr as well. I will launch into a full on project or Mission to help someone or some cause and when something happened not to my expectation the entire cycle of "boohoo woe is me, all my sacrifice for nothing" internal talk happens again. I don't announce it to the world (at that time) but what I will do is to seethe inside and let the resentment fester, and when I got a cancer scare, it was a wake up call for me to take a hard look at my thought habit pattern in my life and how I generate these thoughts and the motivation behind them. What have I found so far? 1. We are all work in progress until the day we die. Celebrate every small win along the way. Ultimately there is NO FINAL GOAL because once you have scaled the highest peak, you will find that there is another higher peak for you to climb and once you reach that higher peak, you realise it's not the highest peak And so you proceed and walk on and soldier on. 💪🏻What's the process of scaling all the peaks if we draw it in a single line? The line will be a curve that is up and down and up and down and up and down and that's life!!! Just because you see another higher goal doesn't mean you need to discount your current achievement of making it to the current peak! Celebrate each win, no matter how small or insignificant! We deserve it! 🎉 2. Just like brushing our teeth daily, so does the same practice of purifying our thoughts, unless of course we choose not to live anymore so we don't need to consume any food, hence our mind won't be fed with any stimulation or input, which is impossible as Long as we are still alive. Being present in the moment, be compassionate, catch our unwholesome thoughts and transmute negativity into love peace and joy, as corny as it sounds, we need a regular detox, mind, body and soul. So do what you need to do. ☺
Sue Tiong on taking a rest
3. Trust. I have learned to trust a few people after being burned many times by others. Don't lose faith and don't lose your trust. With each betrayal, I look at the lesson, I learn how to discern true friends who are really concerned about you as opposed to those who aren't so invested in your well being. Trust the process of hurt and continue to trust. We will all go through that and your tribe will come to you, just continue to trust, especially trusting yourself.😍 4. It's okay to say NO and take back your words. Change is okay. While accountability states that we need to keep to our words and commitment, depending on the situation and circumstances and changes, sometimes it is okay to back out when things don't work out. You can't force it. There's no happiness in force. So there, release your guilt and move on. You don't owe anyone any explanation, just follow your instincts. The only person you need to answer to is you and you alone. 👌🏻 5. Forgive yourself. Start by forgiving yourself. And the rest shall fall into place. It took me many years to realise this and of course I'm still a work in progress. Self preservation and self care are not sins, forgive yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. ❤ 6. Have a look deep look within yourself on a daily basis. Spend time with yourself. Be quiet and be still. I never dared to be quiet or be still it was like I couldn't stand the silence and needed to talk at each moment. So for the extrovert right brained people, I feel you. Took a lot of inner resolve to be still and yes while I am still a work in progress, I'm Glad to take the advice from well meaning individuals who care and now I like spending time with myself alone and in silence. Try it! ⭐ 7. We all have the answers when we ask any question.💡 Follow Sue on her fb page www.fb.com/suetiongofficial or Instagram sue_tiong And twitter @suetiong

A Woman Needs No Country, As a Woman My Country is the Whole World

I am a very patriotic person. I act like a man in my speedy decisions. However as a woman, I am all mushy with a marshmallow heart. Hence it took me awhile to 'digest' this quote from Virginia Wolfe. Only when I turn on the 'woman' mode could I fully delve into the profound meaning of being a woman with the whole world as her country. ❤️ As this Sue Tiong's writing, expect a pretty long read ahead. 🙏🏻😘 This is my take on this. My own interpretation and not what Virginia Wolfe meant. ❤️ As a woman, especially as a mature woman, and risking me appearing like a feminist, a woman just want the whole world to just get along, be at peace, loving and caring, no more war, husbands come home to a warm home with food served on the table, kids and children grow up in a very conducive environment where they get basic education, basic hygiene, all the basic necessities, parents coexist in harmony, I didn't say stay together or don't divorce sometimes separation is inevitable but we can still be civil about it.
As a Woman My Country is the Whole World
Don't get me started on the negatives and the bad and ugly of this world. Isn't it too much already?
Instead let me bring your attention to my own experience where it doesn't matter which country or which flag you fly, ultimately everyone is the same. Some beg to differ saying we don't operate the same way we have different cultures we speak different languages. Yes you are right. And when you choose to see that humans are the same, you are right too. I may be an anomaly but hear me out, bear with me as I type this out. I grew up as the only girl of Chinese descent in my class for a whole 6 years in the same school. My playmates are of different tones of brown and yellow and yet we still play (and cry and made up almost immediately). When I scraped my knee I bleed, so did the other kids. Our blood is red. It's the same. And now fast forward 30 years my son is playing with a group of strangers in the playground of various ethnicities. He doesn't choose their colour he doesn't cringe at someone different than him. He's emulating me at the tender age of 4. Bless him. I plan to tell him to stay that way for as long as possible and be aware other people may judge us or react differently but that doesn't meant you have to react the same way.
Wishing everyone the opportunity to gain higher awareness deep within
As a mother and a woman, I truly believe I don't need to be divided or take sides on which country is better than the other. The world is truly one big country. The universe is one big home for all of us. *Peace* #SueTiong

You are always ONE DECISION Away from a Totally Different Life

imageWell, yesterday I wrote this on my Facebook page: Today I pushed the limit again and conquered my Fear of speaking to people whom I perceive are better than me, you see my audience are business people and entrepreneurs and I consider myself a baby in business. Who am I to teach or add value to these people who are mostly earning more than me? Anyway, I shared what I could and I got positive reviews just for being who I really am. I feel honoured and humbled at the same time. Thank you so much to World's No 1 Wealth Coach #JTFoxx for bringing My Beloved Coach Cherie Eilertsen for her unending support and rallying me all the way since we started our coaching relationship this year, it has been a good six months and she bowled me over again and again, each call just got better and better I ran out of words to describe the impact this powerful lady has brought to my life as a businesswoman! And also a big thanks for Mr Yap Keong Foon of Business Connection Hub www.fb.com/bchmalaysia for inviting me to speak and a pat to my own shoulder for accepting the invite and bite the bullet and do it anyway and to my long time friend and new biz partner Mei for her secret agent deftness in getting things done on the back end and last but not least to my darling husband CS Lee, the father of our two kids, for his sleepless nights helping me with the music editing and slides for my presentation, what would I do without all your love and support, it has been a great 2016 so far and there are 3 months and 2 weeks more to go!!! Let's make this year the best year yet!!! #allpumpedup #suetiong #motivation Now that the immense relief has washed over, and 24 hours have passed since the event it is a good time for reflection. It has indeed been an eventful and fruitful 2016 so far and it will only get better from now on. Believe it shall and it will.

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About Sue

I am Sue. I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, and I am also a human being who cares. When I say I will do it, I will get it done. 
I live by this maxim: Listen to your heart, Follow your gut, my kindness and intuition have served me well over the years. Give wisely, Help those worthy of help, Some people just need that little bit of help, just that one listening ear, just that one phrase of encouraging words, just that one time of understanding and affirmation to make it through a rough patch in their life. Having literally saved lives, both rescued animals and also saved babies from abortion, my personal mission extends beyond my own interest and I put my heart where it matters especially when crucial decisions of life and death are in play.