2019 is set to be a year of plunging us into very uncomfortable situations and the tests that will follow are bound to stretch our limits beyond what we experienced before. Change is the only constant. Embrace changes and go with the flow. www.MeetSueTiong.com
Judge me all you want, Call me a coward, Call me lazy, Call me not doing anything worthwhile, Call me useless, Give me that look of disgust, Give me that eye of pity, Look down on me, Look and sneer at me, Call me a coward for wanting to escape it all, When everything seems bleak and no point to it all, Say all that you want, I finally don’t care anymore. Let me Rest In Peace. - Depression is Real, It is a Silent Killer, Continue Judging something you don’t feel, Go On, Feel good about yourself. Thank you very much. To raise awareness of understanding depression.
I feel that many adults (me included) are suffering from some form of depression or childhood trauma, which results in some undesirable things that we do.Now, now don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing serious although in some cases the cases are really serious. It’s day to day “normal” thing. Like “Don’t speak, a child is supposed to be seen not heard”, and the child learns to shut up and fears to speak or express feelings to anyone, which resulted in the basis of dysfunctional future relationships because I truly believe in the importance of sharing and speaking and expressing our feelings and creating a safer space for everyone in the relationship to reciprocate the sharing. So when I encounter such adults in life, I see myself in them. I learned not to take the “abuse” or hurtful remarks or action against me as “personal” by taking this approach to see an aspect of myself in them. Internalising it to not take It personally, if that makes sense.
❤I see a little child inside of that person. The child as per the picture below. A child who needs validation, needs a safe space just to be, needs a safe space to tell the truth even though the truth hurts, and a safe space to make mistakes and not be judged. I am NOT condoning the wrong and the hurt and harm these people may have caused, if they killed someone they need to be judged by court and face legal consequences, if they steal then they must return whatever they stole and pay for it with legal consequences... I am writing this for YOU. Yes You and Me. People who were “victims”. I use the past tense “were”. We were victims. We ARE no longer victims now. It is our choice to walk away from our past with our Chin high up. Not with boastful pride but with dignified elegance, with GRACE. When we don’t resort to wanting to hurt the other person back, we break the cycle of “you hurt me, I hurt you back, you hurt me even more, I hurt you back even more, etc”. The BUCK STOPS HERE. AND IT STOPS NOW WITH ME. All of us have the power within us to make the buck stop here and have peace within. And with the peace within May the World be peaceful too. That’s my prayer for myself and for the World. ❤ #SueTiong All pics are from Pixabay unless stated on the watermark with proper credit.
This is my first blog post for the New Year. In my part of the world it is already dawn of the New Year of 2018, the sun is rising and yet the rain poured. It has been raining for three days and my kids hardly had any water play time in our family vacation but they are not complaining... Ah the joys of being little human beings. The innocence and how simple they think. Becoming a parent made me reflect a lot. Why do kids need to rebel and do the complete opposite of what you tell them to do? It is to exert their independence and to find the strength in saying NO. The #MeToo campaign brought on a lot of confessions and a lot of victims, men and women and girls and boys all stood up and shared. In September 2017, three unlikely women formed a trio that became the basis of Project Cahaya -means Light in the Malay language. Our target is the youth, especially those who are below age 12. Call them children, call them kids, they are our youth, the light of hope for the future of our world.
She’s judged, she’s made to feel that she’s to be blamed for her own rape by the very adult who was supposed to protect her and keep her safe. She’s shamed and labelled a slut. She’s only 12.Project Cahaya aims to provide a safe space for the children to express themselves and learn to trust themselves to heal and to trust the world again. These children are supposed to be protected and yet for some, fate and the adults around them betrayed that very early in their lives. If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, I am sorry. What I am sharing; it is very real. Child abuse happens throughout the world, many suffering in silence. Many with no voice; many don’t even have a choice to say No or walk away. https://youtu.be/M9BNoNFKCBI This is some heavy post for a brand new year but while we celebrate it is also apt to remember those who are not as fortunate as we are, if we don’t do anything about it, life goes on and nothing change. Let’s take a look at the actions taken by females and even males around the world in the last century. Is it all muscles and grit and all hard to be strong? Do we need to break the glass ceiling all the time and have our hands and body bleed each time we fight to break the glass ceiling? Not only women but humans in general and the existing discrimination in place. Women, and also the minority, especially in the last 100 years felt a need to emulate men in order to stand up for themselves, however is masculinity the only way to be strong? Is it a battle or a competition to see who is stronger? Why can’t we have mutual respect regardless of who we are? What does strength mean to you? S-T-R-E-N-G-T-H For me it means grace in adversity and the ability to gracefully exit when you want to. Strength is in the power to say No, and Enough, and move on. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, may the world be the best that it can ever be in 2018 and beyond. ❤️ All pictures and photographs are credited to Pixabay and my personal collection.
Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy. Most don't care, many don't want to hear them and some are Glad you have them. Address your concerns to those who truly care, and only YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF. And so #SueTiong Writes again. ❤️ I've been guilty of playing victim for the longest time, "woe is me", it's never my fault entirely and I use my gift of gab to argue or present my case cleverly to make the others look bad, I didn't realise it at that time until some tough love lessons were delivered to me in the past two years and slowly I become more Aware when this pattern of playing victim started all over again and my goal is to nip it in the bud when I catch this habit pattern each time. I am not sure about men, but for me as a female, a highly sensitive female with my heart on my sleeve, I sometimes played the matyr as well. I will launch into a full on project or Mission to help someone or some cause and when something happened not to my expectation the entire cycle of "boohoo woe is me, all my sacrifice for nothing" internal talk happens again. I don't announce it to the world (at that time) but what I will do is to seethe inside and let the resentment fester, and when I got a cancer scare, it was a wake up call for me to take a hard look at my thought habit pattern in my life and how I generate these thoughts and the motivation behind them. What have I found so far? 1. We are all work in progress until the day we die. Celebrate every small win along the way. Ultimately there is NO FINAL GOAL because once you have scaled the highest peak, you will find that there is another higher peak for you to climb and once you reach that higher peak, you realise it's not the highest peak And so you proceed and walk on and soldier on. 💪🏻What's the process of scaling all the peaks if we draw it in a single line? The line will be a curve that is up and down and up and down and up and down and that's life!!! Just because you see another higher goal doesn't mean you need to discount your current achievement of making it to the current peak! Celebrate each win, no matter how small or insignificant! We deserve it! 🎉 2. Just like brushing our teeth daily, so does the same practice of purifying our thoughts, unless of course we choose not to live anymore so we don't need to consume any food, hence our mind won't be fed with any stimulation or input, which is impossible as Long as we are still alive. Being present in the moment, be compassionate, catch our unwholesome thoughts and transmute negativity into love peace and joy, as corny as it sounds, we need a regular detox, mind, body and soul. So do what you need to do. ☺ 3. Trust. I have learned to trust a few people after being burned many times by others. Don't lose faith and don't lose your trust. With each betrayal, I look at the lesson, I learn how to discern true friends who are really concerned about you as opposed to those who aren't so invested in your well being. Trust the process of hurt and continue to trust. We will all go through that and your tribe will come to you, just continue to trust, especially trusting yourself.😍 4. It's okay to say NO and take back your words. Change is okay. While accountability states that we need to keep to our words and commitment, depending on the situation and circumstances and changes, sometimes it is okay to back out when things don't work out. You can't force it. There's no happiness in force. So there, release your guilt and move on. You don't owe anyone any explanation, just follow your instincts. The only person you need to answer to is you and you alone. 👌🏻 5. Forgive yourself. Start by forgiving yourself. And the rest shall fall into place. It took me many years to realise this and of course I'm still a work in progress. Self preservation and self care are not sins, forgive yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. ❤ 6. Have a look deep look within yourself on a daily basis. Spend time with yourself. Be quiet and be still. I never dared to be quiet or be still it was like I couldn't stand the silence and needed to talk at each moment. So for the extrovert right brained people, I feel you. Took a lot of inner resolve to be still and yes while I am still a work in progress, I'm Glad to take the advice from well meaning individuals who care and now I like spending time with myself alone and in silence. Try it! ⭐ 7. We all have the answers when we ask any question.💡 Follow Sue on her fb page www.fb.com/suetiongofficial or Instagram sue_tiong And twitter @suetiong
AND THEN WHAT? Been awhile.... Since Sue is writing again, expect this to be pretty Long. Popcorns ready. 😂 I had five back to back conference calls today including many conversations this evening at a business networking event. Connected with a few of them and I realised that ultimately, the theme is the same. "What next after you have fame, wealth, fortune?" You have food on the table, a roof over your head, you are mobile and can get around, you have a reputation, strong presence, a family, a career, SUCCESS, in other words you want for nothing, so what is next? If you do business only for money, after awhile all you will get is money and only money. There will be a void inside that money can't fill up. You will find that money cannot take away your misery, at least not permanently. You will crave for the fastest newest edition of your gadgets, your luxury cars, I am not one for cars but I am guilty of that for my phones, I have more than 4 phones, guilty as charged. I justify them with the lamest reasons, like I need to be connected all the time, it is a false need, I survived 12 days without my phone at my silent retreat and I didn't die 😂. You may indulge in intoxicants or crave for the high that alcohol or recreational drugs provide, you escape that void inside for awhile and then what? That is only a quick fix, or is it really a fix or a plaster over an infected open wound? Deep inside there is a longing to cry out loud or just to get someone to truly understand the pain you feel inside... what is this void inside, why do I keep reverting to my old thinking habits that makes me seem like a hamster on the wheel, the only problem is... the wheel is turning but the hamster has passed out. In this chase for more and MORE AND MORE, after you have more, you want more. The rush of adrenaline, the high you get when you are elated, the blood rushing to your head when you are excited. And then the crash comes... AND THEN WHAT. There was a time when I feel like I was just going through the motion, I knew I had to keep moving or else I will be consumed by the void. The fear to face the void was very true. I felt like escaping, like you are on the run and you are only running from your own shadow. Inside, deep inside, you feel so tired and you question everything that you know and you doubt everything and everyone you know. Oh yes, broken business partnerships, death of friendships and relationship, we have our own day to day struggles. Then I realised I was just running away from my own shadow. My fear was totally unfounded. And when I talk to people, and I look into their eyes, I see me, I see my fear, I see my hope, we are all the same. We have the same feelings. We are all humans. Money buys happiness but it cannot bring you true joy and peace. Happiness is good. Joy is deep. Peace is one thing many with money is lacking nowadays. I had a glimpse of inner peace earlier this month when I was a nobody and only a number on the list and not talking to anyone of the 100 over people... It was not exactly a holiday, it was a break with hard work, working to face my inner demons and fulfilling my commitment to stay the entire 10 days. It was the best proudest achievement of mine so far, for staying on and for making sure I completed the strict regime right till the end, I will go again next year. ❤️ For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, check out this link: https://www.dhamma.org/en/index Oh don't get me wrong, I am not going to give up life as I know it or sell off all my businesses and become a recluse or a nun. AND NOW WHAT? I finally found some peace. And my heart is bursting with joy and love, that I want to share this with anyone who is looking for some peace, joy and love. And to truly smile from the heart, that feeling is simply amazing. 🙏🏻😊❤️ Something is brewing, something beautiful, something which aims to spread the art of living in peace and blending harmoniously with our pursuit of wealth. Now that is exciting! I have decided not to upgrade my phone for the next one year because I HAVE ENOUGH, and I have all that matters now. And I choose not to let the little voice of doubt inside take over my decisions. I AM NOT A BAD MOTHER FOR LEAVING my children while I travel. Whatever that I do is with them in mind. Just because you cannot understand why I can't do it your way doesn't mean that my way is wrong. Yes, I finally found peace because my biggest obstacle is my definition of being a good Mother. I cannot be the perfect Mother, I can only be a good Mother who is happy and at peace. I truly am at peace now and I am happy. ❤️ Once my energy shifted, the people around me shifted as well. Some got drawn closer, some seemed to be repelled and backed off and some totally exited my life. The only permanent thing in life is CHANGE. The only definite thing in life is DEATH. The only chance we have is NOW. So live in the moment. I CHOOSE ME. I choose to continue being me. I shall help whoever I want and I shall act on my gut feelings and intuition/6th sense whatever you call it; it has served me well over the years. As I enter my late 30s getting closer to 40, I am Glad all the pain happened when they did and all the paths I took led me to right where I am now which is exactly where I needed to be. On the 10th Anniversary of your death my precious baby, I can finally let you go... my angel. My firstborn who didn't even breathe even one gasp of air. You healed me physically and I allowed myself to grieve for you for 10 years like a living dead. I am ready to let you go now my precious little angel. I knew you can't make it today before you finally left my body 2 weeks later, call it a mother's instinct. Thank you for coming into my life no matter how brief. I release all the guilt that I am a bad Mother for not being able to allow you to grow and live. I release you now my baby. I am finally at peace. ❤️ This blog post is dedicated to all women and men who have experienced the loss of a loved one in any way at all and also to all the human beings who feel that there is more to life than just birth, and money and death. May we all find inner peace and true joy within.
I am a very patriotic person. I act like a man in my speedy decisions. However as a woman, I am all mushy with a marshmallow heart. Hence it took me awhile to 'digest' this quote from Virginia Wolfe. Only when I turn on the 'woman' mode could I fully delve into the profound meaning of being a woman with the whole world as her country. ❤️ As this Sue Tiong's writing, expect a pretty long read ahead. 🙏🏻😘 This is my take on this. My own interpretation and not what Virginia Wolfe meant. ❤️ As a woman, especially as a mature woman, and risking me appearing like a feminist, a woman just want the whole world to just get along, be at peace, loving and caring, no more war, husbands come home to a warm home with food served on the table, kids and children grow up in a very conducive environment where they get basic education, basic hygiene, all the basic necessities, parents coexist in harmony, I didn't say stay together or don't divorce sometimes separation is inevitable but we can still be civil about it. Don't get me started on the negatives and the bad and ugly of this world. Isn't it too much already?
Instead let me bring your attention to my own experience where it doesn't matter which country or which flag you fly, ultimately everyone is the same. Some beg to differ saying we don't operate the same way we have different cultures we speak different languages. Yes you are right. And when you choose to see that humans are the same, you are right too. I may be an anomaly but hear me out, bear with me as I type this out. I grew up as the only girl of Chinese descent in my class for a whole 6 years in the same school. My playmates are of different tones of brown and yellow and yet we still play (and cry and made up almost immediately). When I scraped my knee I bleed, so did the other kids. Our blood is red. It's the same. And now fast forward 30 years my son is playing with a group of strangers in the playground of various ethnicities. He doesn't choose their colour he doesn't cringe at someone different than him. He's emulating me at the tender age of 4. Bless him. I plan to tell him to stay that way for as long as possible and be aware other people may judge us or react differently but that doesn't meant you have to react the same way.As a mother and a woman, I truly believe I don't need to be divided or take sides on which country is better than the other. The world is truly one big country. The universe is one big home for all of us. *Peace* #SueTiong
When I crash, my energy level takes a sudden dip the lethargy makes me so exhausted I even get tired I don't wish to speak or even hold a conversation, I guess the extrovert in me needs a holiday sometimes too and retreat inside so I think that qualifies me as an ambivert? I have to remind myself that "Whatever that happens it must be good". My dad was hospitalised on the day I was flying off to South Africa. I did not announce that anywhere including on Facebook where I am most active on because that is personal and that is private. Despite my seemingly open profile across the World Wide Web, I do have internal filter and you think you know me but really there are more layers to me that you need to peel off and see me for who I truly am. So unless you know me well, refrain from judging too much please. Humans are funny sometimes. The moment they see I own businesses and that I am a serial entrepreneur globe trotting from the USA to South Africa and I regularly ply between two countries to conduct training and workshop in Asia where I am based in, they automatically assume I have it easy and I lead a comfortable life and some even started begging. Yes, begging, and demanding and even extortion. I have had to lodge police reports before but that won't stop me from doing what I put my heart into and I shall continue to do it well and strive for excellence.
- Just because I am the founder of a social enterprise called Millionairemom Asia does NOT mean I can give away cash for free. A social enterprise means NO Donation. The beneficiary/recipient under Millionairemom Asia are all required to commit long term and they needed to pull their weight and do their part and if that is not clear - WORK AND PUT IN EFFORT - bekerja keras untuk menjana pendapatan in Bahasa Malaysia.
- Just because I own many businesses and partner with like-minded individuals from many different countries does NOT mean I can be YOUR mouthpiece to curry favour from my partners and even my business networks. You build your own connection and I am not paid to speak on your behalf with someone else. I mind my own business. Yes I am a connector but once the introduction has been made you are on your own. If you didn't make it into my Personal Recommendation Album on my Facebook profile I needed more time and more conviction before I will vouch and die protecting your brand. Loyalty is not to be taken lightly if you get what I mean.
- I literally die a little, yes a part of me die each time I leave home to fly and live the high flyer life where you see me smiling in my pictures. I am a mother and a wife and my babies are born in 2013 and 2016, so you do the Maths and you will see how young they are. I know they are in good care and hubby is a hands on father but each time and yes EACH and Every single moment I am away from them I miss them so much. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I have to learn to forgive myself and be less harsh on myself: At this point in time I choose to fly to pursue my dreams to be a role model to my two babies so they will know the important lesson that self achievement for the greater good will not have to stop and "Children are not excuses, They are your reason to work harder." You are not in my situation so save some for yourself.
- I do sleep and I do rest and I don't exactly need to inform the world when I am exactly working and when I am not. Even hubby does not need to know the specifics. Do I even need to announce when I am about to make love? Do I even need to take pictures of my baby's poo-soiled diapers? Do I even need to share all that you are curious about? To what end? Will that information save the world or save a life or contribute to the betterment of the world in the long run? No? Then quit the entitled attitude to my private life.
- I strongly believe in engaging a coach, NOT mentor. Mentors can be cheaper or even free and you can have a mentor for life but you may not be held accountable to see things through. I have been blessed to have excellent coaches including Coach Cherie Eilertsen from JT Foxx Organization and Now I am looking forward to my one full day on-site coaching with Coach Joey Falcone also from JT Foxx Org.
- Do these coaching sessions cost me a lot of money? Yes definitely, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys you get what I am saying? What you pay for is what you get.
- Have I gotten back the money spent? Yes and many times over including the inmeasurable benefits from the body soul and mind level which lends to a more harmonious relationship with family and friends and at work and that makes me an even nicer and more peaceful person.
- Is JT Foxx a scam? Not for me. It depends on how much are you willing to invest in yourself in terms of money and effort. Giving time to work on something is a form of investment because while you can recoup money, you cannot get back time. That is why I am rushing and doing so much while my kids are still small, to plant the seeds which I hope will bloom into a beautiful garden by the time they are in school and I can lie back and enjoy the view.
Speaking of rest, whenever I feel high-strung I will turn to my baby girl and smell her pretty little head or if she is sleeping I can't help but smile looking at her peaceful face like an angel when she is deep asleep.
So yeah, sleep like a baby and take a rest when you are tired but Never ever Quit doing what you have already set out to do.May the new year of 2017 be an even better year for everyone. I know 2016 has been a spectacular year which is so transformational on all levels I am so grateful to everyone whom I connected with, yeah including the haters, haters will hate, so that's inevitable and I need to be nonchalant about it I guess, we are all still a work in progress.
Joy, peace and loveCheck out my business webpage www.meetsuetiong.com
Well, yesterday I wrote this on my Facebook page: Today I pushed the limit again and conquered my Fear of speaking to people whom I perceive are better than me, you see my audience are business people and entrepreneurs and I consider myself a baby in business. Who am I to teach or add value to these people who are mostly earning more than me? Anyway, I shared what I could and I got positive reviews just for being who I really am. I feel honoured and humbled at the same time. Thank you so much to World's No 1 Wealth Coach #JTFoxx for bringing My Beloved Coach Cherie Eilertsen for her unending support and rallying me all the way since we started our coaching relationship this year, it has been a good six months and she bowled me over again and again, each call just got better and better I ran out of words to describe the impact this powerful lady has brought to my life as a businesswoman! And also a big thanks for Mr Yap Keong Foon of Business Connection Hub www.fb.com/bchmalaysia for inviting me to speak and a pat to my own shoulder for accepting the invite and bite the bullet and do it anyway and to my long time friend and new biz partner Mei for her secret agent deftness in getting things done on the back end and last but not least to my darling husband CS Lee, the father of our two kids, for his sleepless nights helping me with the music editing and slides for my presentation, what would I do without all your love and support, it has been a great 2016 so far and there are 3 months and 2 weeks more to go!!! Let's make this year the best year yet!!! #allpumpedup #suetiong #motivation Now that the immense relief has washed over, and 24 hours have passed since the event it is a good time for reflection. It has indeed been an eventful and fruitful 2016 so far and it will only get better from now on. Believe it shall and it will.
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Today I choose to embrace my imperfections Let us be kind to ourselves, less self-judgement, be less critical to ourselves and less harsh on our own short comings. Today I choose to embrace my imperfections and recognise that I am still human.