Great Things Never Came from Comfort Zones

Great Things Never Came From Comfort Zones
2019 is set to be a year of plunging us into very uncomfortable situations and the tests that will follow are bound to stretch our limits beyond what we experienced before. Change is the only constant. Embrace changes and go with the flow.  www.MeetSueTiong.com  

The Buck Stops Here Now

I feel that many adults (me included) are suffering from some form of depression or childhood trauma, which results in some undesirable things that we do. 
Depression - How a child’s mental health is affecting adulthood
Now, now don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing serious although in some cases the cases are really serious. It’s day to day “normal” thing. Like “Don’t speak, a child is supposed to be seen not heard”, and the child learns to shut up and fears to speak or express feelings to anyone, which resulted in the basis of dysfunctional future relationships because I truly believe in the importance of sharing and speaking and expressing our feelings and creating a safer space for everyone in the relationship to reciprocate the sharing. 
Understanding how childhood trauma affects adulthood is of utmost importance
So when I encounter such adults in life, I see myself in them. I learned not to take the “abuse” or hurtful remarks or action against me as “personal” by taking this approach to see an aspect of myself in them. Internalising it to not take It personally, if that makes sense.
I see a little child inside of that person. The child as per the picture below. 
How to nurture a child’s mental health
A child who needs validation, needs a safe space just to be, needs a safe space to tell the truth even though the truth hurts, and a safe space to make mistakes and not be judged. 
Every human being has a little child inside that just wants to be heard, loved and feel safe.
I am NOT condoning the wrong and the hurt and harm these people may have caused, if they killed someone they need to be judged by court and face legal consequences, if they steal then they must return whatever they stole and pay for it with legal consequences... I am writing this for YOU. Yes You and Me. People who were “victims”. I use the past tense “were”.
Break Free
We were victims. We ARE no longer victims now. It is our choice to walk away from our past with our Chin high up. Not with boastful pride but with dignified elegance, with GRACE.  When we don’t resort to wanting to hurt the other person back, we break the cycle of “you hurt me, I hurt you back, you hurt me even more, I hurt you back even more, etc”. The BUCK STOPS HERE.    AND IT STOPS NOW WITH ME. 
Love really makes the world go round
All of us have the power within us to make the buck stop here and have peace within. And with the peace within May the World be peaceful too.  That’s my prayer for myself and for the World.  ❤ #SueTiong All pics are from Pixabay unless stated on the watermark with proper credit.

Who is Sue Tiong? A Mother’s Prayer, and a Mother’s Stand.

A parent’s prayer for their children: Unbreakable bond that lasts Long after their parents are gone. ❤
Elder Brother leading little Sister by the hand. Seeing my two kids holding hands and walking together made me see a glimpse of the future of what’s possible - unbreakable bond.
Who is Sue Tiong?
This is how I would want to be remembered as: Always with a smile, someone you Can talk to, and you can see the warmth in my eyes and see that I mean every word that I say and I mean every action that I do. ❤❤❤
Photography: Sherine Loh Sook Kuan
Hair: Lovely King
Makeup: My own hands #SueTiong
Dress: Jennice Choo Mobile Tailor
I’m a Mother first before I am a Wife and a Daughter and a sister and a friend. I am a woman in my own right. These do get different priorities at different time in life but they will always be my TOP 6. ❤ My career comes in 7th. Yes it may seem too slow or Too fast. You may not be able to fathom this woman called Sue Tiong. #SueTiong is a Mother and wife first, and a woman in her own right and doesn’t fit into any boxes or stereotype. 💃 I get women who asked me don’t I miss my kids when I travel for my career. I used to feel extreme and deep GUILT when I get these remarks. I feel judged. 😱
As a Woman My Country is the Whole World
And I do get looks of pity from men when they asked me who takes care of my kids when I travel; the answer is my darling hubby. They pity my hubby for having me as a Wife. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I used to feel an extreme sense of being irresponsible and I even felt I was worthless as a mother and a Wife... as a Daughter who’s always absent and a Sister and Friend who’s only available online and never in person. The feeling of GUILT and Shame ate into my very core and the feeling isn’t something I’d like to revisit anytime soon. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my enemy. THE BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENED WHEN I REALISED: ❤ My kids still love me no matter what.
My Husband, my rock, my pillar, my strong support, the man behind my success.
❤ My Husband still supports and loves me no matter what. ❤ My parents and siblings and friends still give me their full blessings regardless of what I decide to do as Long as I am happy and comfortable (I take care of my well-being) - My Father named me Comfortable and Happy as the meaning of my Chinese name. Oh yes my name is still shortish, three syllables including my surname Tiong. There, I do have a middle name Yii. It means happy. Today I reclaim my birth right to be happy:
Wishing everyone the opportunity to gain higher awareness deep within
I’ve left out the Happy Joyful word from my name for more than a decade.  Time to reclaim it. Time to be truly happy. ⭐ I shall be happy and joyful and not let others’ opinion of me taint my feelings towards what I already know very well is my calling and destiny.
If a small town girl from Borneo can make it, so can you. www.meetsuetiong.com
I have no right to judge anyone as I don’t live your life. If I am judged oh well it isn’t your life. And your opinion of me doesn’t pay the bills. 😊
www.meetsuetiong.com
May everyone find inner peace and joy. 🙏🏻❤

Quitting Does Not Mean You are Weak

Quitting Does Not Mean that You Are Weak. It just means you are strong enough to stand up and say No. Sue Tiong.
This is my first blog post for the New Year.
What is Strength? Can you still be strong when you quit? It all depends on the context.
In my part of the world it is already dawn of the New Year of 2018, the sun is rising and yet the rain poured. It has been raining for three days and my kids hardly had any water play time in our family vacation but they are not complaining... Ah the joys of being little human beings. The innocence and how simple they think.
Yes I can. Is saying yes the only way to be strong?
Becoming a parent made me reflect a lot. Why do kids need to rebel and do the complete opposite of what you tell them to do? It is to exert their independence and to find the strength in saying NO.
Teach Kids how to say no And tell them it is okay to quit and walk away.
The #MeToo campaign brought on a lot of confessions and a lot of victims, men and women and girls and boys all stood up and shared.
Every child deserve to be safe. Stop Child Abuse
In September 2017, three unlikely women formed a trio that became the basis of Project Cahaya -means Light in the Malay language. Our target is the youth, especially those who are below age 12. Call them children, call them kids, they are our youth, the light of hope for the future of our world.
Children are the strength of our future
 
www.fb.com/projectcahaya
  It all started with a story of a girl. To protect her identity there will be no location and no year. I shall not entertain any queries if it is even me.
Project Cahaya started with the story of a girl
She was only 12 years old when her innocence was taken away by her male relative. She woke up on a school day with the man on TOP of her, having his way with her, in other words, raping her.
Stop, No more!
She ran to the house opposite of where she stays and her female relative told her to get ready to school and brushed off her complaint of the rape, the adults did not know how to handle the situation.
We cannot undo or unsee things
She got to school and confided in her teacher and was sent to the hospital for medical examination which confirmed that sex has indeed occured. The next thing you know, her case was brushed under the carpet. “She’s a slut, it’s her fault”.  Never mind that she’s an underage and it is her first sexual experience.
She’s judged, she’s made to feel that she’s to be blamed for her own rape by the very adult who was supposed to protect her and keep her safe. She’s shamed and labelled a slut. She’s only 12.
Help me stand strong
Project Cahaya aims to provide a safe space for the children to express themselves and learn to trust themselves to heal and to trust the world again. These children are supposed to be protected and yet for some, fate and the adults around them betrayed that very early in their lives.
Stand up for our children, not only your own but the world’s children!
If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, I am sorry. What I am sharing; it is very real. Child abuse happens throughout the world, many suffering in silence. Many with no voice; many don’t even have a choice to say No or walk away.
We are the world, we are the children
https://youtu.be/M9BNoNFKCBI This is some heavy post for a brand new year but while we celebrate it is also apt to remember those who are not as fortunate as we are, if we don’t do anything about it, life goes on and nothing change.
Stop Violence. No means no.
Let’s take a look at the actions taken by females and even males around the world in the last century.
Women learned to fight back and resist
Man still feel that they are superior and further perpetuate the belief for centuries
Is it all muscles and grit and all hard to be strong? Do we need to break the glass ceiling all the time and have our hands and body bleed each time we fight to break the glass ceiling? Not only women but humans in general and the existing discrimination in place. Women, and also the minority, especially in the last 100 years felt a need to emulate men in order to stand up for themselves, however is masculinity the only way to be strong? Is it a battle or a competition to see who is stronger? Why can’t we have mutual respect regardless of who we are?
We even have two men becoming parents together in a beautiful marriage in today’s world. So why fight about what makes us different?
What does strength mean to you? S-T-R-E-N-G-T-H For me it means grace in adversity and the ability to gracefully exit when you want to.
Break Free
Strength is in the power to say No, and Enough, and move on. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, may the world be the best that it can ever be in 2018 and beyond. ❤️
This is how I would want to be remembered as: Always with a smile, someone you Can talk to, and you can see the warmth in my eyes and see that I mean every word that I say and I mean every action that I do. ❤️❤️❤️
Photography: Sherine Loh Sook Kuan
Hair: Lovely King
Makeup: My own hands #SueTiong
Dress: Jennice Choo Mobile Tailor
All pictures and photographs are credited to Pixabay and my personal collection.

7 Lessons I’ve learned towards Self Awareness and Self Love

Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy.
Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy. Most don't care, many don't want to hear them and some are Glad you have them. Address your concerns to those who truly care, and only YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF. And so #SueTiong Writes again. ❤️ I've been guilty of playing victim for the longest time, "woe is me", it's never my fault entirely and I use my gift of gab to argue or present my case cleverly to make the others look bad, I didn't realise it at that time until some tough love lessons were delivered to me in the past two years and slowly I become more Aware when this pattern of playing victim started all over again and my goal is to nip it in the bud when I catch this habit pattern each time.   I am not sure about men, but for me as a female, a highly sensitive female with my heart on my sleeve, I sometimes played the matyr as well. I will launch into a full on project or Mission to help someone or some cause and when something happened not to my expectation the entire cycle of "boohoo woe is me, all my sacrifice for nothing" internal talk happens again. I don't announce it to the world (at that time) but what I will do is to seethe inside and let the resentment fester, and when I got a cancer scare, it was a wake up call for me to take a hard look at my thought habit pattern in my life and how I generate these thoughts and the motivation behind them. What have I found so far? 1. We are all work in progress until the day we die. Celebrate every small win along the way. Ultimately there is NO FINAL GOAL because once you have scaled the highest peak, you will find that there is another higher peak for you to climb and once you reach that higher peak, you realise it's not the highest peak And so you proceed and walk on and soldier on. 💪🏻What's the process of scaling all the peaks if we draw it in a single line? The line will be a curve that is up and down and up and down and up and down and that's life!!! Just because you see another higher goal doesn't mean you need to discount your current achievement of making it to the current peak! Celebrate each win, no matter how small or insignificant! We deserve it! 🎉 2. Just like brushing our teeth daily, so does the same practice of purifying our thoughts, unless of course we choose not to live anymore so we don't need to consume any food, hence our mind won't be fed with any stimulation or input, which is impossible as Long as we are still alive. Being present in the moment, be compassionate, catch our unwholesome thoughts and transmute negativity into love peace and joy, as corny as it sounds, we need a regular detox, mind, body and soul. So do what you need to do. ☺
Sue Tiong on taking a rest
3. Trust. I have learned to trust a few people after being burned many times by others. Don't lose faith and don't lose your trust. With each betrayal, I look at the lesson, I learn how to discern true friends who are really concerned about you as opposed to those who aren't so invested in your well being. Trust the process of hurt and continue to trust. We will all go through that and your tribe will come to you, just continue to trust, especially trusting yourself.😍 4. It's okay to say NO and take back your words. Change is okay. While accountability states that we need to keep to our words and commitment, depending on the situation and circumstances and changes, sometimes it is okay to back out when things don't work out. You can't force it. There's no happiness in force. So there, release your guilt and move on. You don't owe anyone any explanation, just follow your instincts. The only person you need to answer to is you and you alone. 👌🏻 5. Forgive yourself. Start by forgiving yourself. And the rest shall fall into place. It took me many years to realise this and of course I'm still a work in progress. Self preservation and self care are not sins, forgive yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. ❤ 6. Have a look deep look within yourself on a daily basis. Spend time with yourself. Be quiet and be still. I never dared to be quiet or be still it was like I couldn't stand the silence and needed to talk at each moment. So for the extrovert right brained people, I feel you. Took a lot of inner resolve to be still and yes while I am still a work in progress, I'm Glad to take the advice from well meaning individuals who care and now I like spending time with myself alone and in silence. Try it! ⭐ 7. We all have the answers when we ask any question.💡 Follow Sue on her fb page www.fb.com/suetiongofficial or Instagram sue_tiong And twitter @suetiong

A Woman Needs No Country, As a Woman My Country is the Whole World

I am a very patriotic person. I act like a man in my speedy decisions. However as a woman, I am all mushy with a marshmallow heart. Hence it took me awhile to 'digest' this quote from Virginia Wolfe. Only when I turn on the 'woman' mode could I fully delve into the profound meaning of being a woman with the whole world as her country. ❤️ As this Sue Tiong's writing, expect a pretty long read ahead. 🙏🏻😘 This is my take on this. My own interpretation and not what Virginia Wolfe meant. ❤️ As a woman, especially as a mature woman, and risking me appearing like a feminist, a woman just want the whole world to just get along, be at peace, loving and caring, no more war, husbands come home to a warm home with food served on the table, kids and children grow up in a very conducive environment where they get basic education, basic hygiene, all the basic necessities, parents coexist in harmony, I didn't say stay together or don't divorce sometimes separation is inevitable but we can still be civil about it.
As a Woman My Country is the Whole World
Don't get me started on the negatives and the bad and ugly of this world. Isn't it too much already?
Instead let me bring your attention to my own experience where it doesn't matter which country or which flag you fly, ultimately everyone is the same. Some beg to differ saying we don't operate the same way we have different cultures we speak different languages. Yes you are right. And when you choose to see that humans are the same, you are right too. I may be an anomaly but hear me out, bear with me as I type this out. I grew up as the only girl of Chinese descent in my class for a whole 6 years in the same school. My playmates are of different tones of brown and yellow and yet we still play (and cry and made up almost immediately). When I scraped my knee I bleed, so did the other kids. Our blood is red. It's the same. And now fast forward 30 years my son is playing with a group of strangers in the playground of various ethnicities. He doesn't choose their colour he doesn't cringe at someone different than him. He's emulating me at the tender age of 4. Bless him. I plan to tell him to stay that way for as long as possible and be aware other people may judge us or react differently but that doesn't meant you have to react the same way.
Wishing everyone the opportunity to gain higher awareness deep within
As a mother and a woman, I truly believe I don't need to be divided or take sides on which country is better than the other. The world is truly one big country. The universe is one big home for all of us. *Peace* #SueTiong

FOCUS ON THE WRONG THINGS

I have been told I have been focusing on the wrong things earlier this morning. I had my call with my transformational coach Reggie Bates right before I my speech in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to fellow entrepreneurs and business owners and while my stylist aka make up artist Ambizxien Woo (Joan) has finished applying makeup on my face and was styling my hair, I told Coach Reggie that I am nervous about me feeling under the weather with a cold, strepthroat and mild fever with a nasal voice. He told me this: "You are focusing on the wrong things, Sue. Focus on the audience. Then you won't be nervous. Once you focus on the audience only them matters, it is when you focus on yourself that you get all these thoughts." I paused and thought. He made perfect sense. I then delivered my speech and had the highest closing ever for my own personal record and I am glad I invested in myself and I have a team of supportive coaches from JT Foxx Organization. THANK YOU. I am due to speak at three events in South Africa in the coming week. Intelligent Millionaires Network Gauteng, Johannesburg, SA  Register for FREE now: http://clubs.intelligentmillionairesnetwork.com/Johannesburg/ Intelligent Millionaires Network Durban, SA Register for FREE now: http://clubs.intelligentmillionairesnetwork.com/Durban/ Tycoons of Wealth where over 1800 people will gather. I now have what I need to FOCUS. Here I come again, South Africa. To your beautiful land with beautiful people and beautiful hearts and I smile just at the thought of returning to this beautiful continent. Sincerely, Sue
FOCUS is the KEY

Happy Birthday JT Foxx

Dec 2, 2016, 2 days before JT's birthday
Dec 2, 2016, 2 days before JT's birthday
Happy birthday, JT Foxx, the world's No 1 Wealth Coach My businesses knew no limit after meeting you! It has been the best year yet for my husband and I and having a strong support system in the business network JT brought together with his annual Family Reunion and many live events globally you can check out his schedule at www.jtfoxxlive.com #JTFoxx #FamilyFirst #Loyalty Results Don't Lie and for those of you who are just about to start a business or already owning businesses, a solopreneur or already manages over 300 staff member, his team of coaches are the cream of the crop and one of the best things that happened this year (besides our surprise baby girl) is meeting Power Coach Cherie Eilertsen. Thank you JT Foxx, people say you change countries one country at a time, but for me you have changed my entire life and I could see that you genuinely care, so by being loyal and genuine, that is how you change lives one at a time and in turn change an entire generation of entrepreneurs globally. Such powerful impact I won't be surprised if you win the Nobel Prize soon! Happy Birthday JT. Have a blast and please don't stop changing lives, changing the world. #FamilyFirst With gratitude and pride to be part of the JT Foxx Family First, Sue Tiong

You are always ONE DECISION Away from a Totally Different Life

imageWell, yesterday I wrote this on my Facebook page: Today I pushed the limit again and conquered my Fear of speaking to people whom I perceive are better than me, you see my audience are business people and entrepreneurs and I consider myself a baby in business. Who am I to teach or add value to these people who are mostly earning more than me? Anyway, I shared what I could and I got positive reviews just for being who I really am. I feel honoured and humbled at the same time. Thank you so much to World's No 1 Wealth Coach #JTFoxx for bringing My Beloved Coach Cherie Eilertsen for her unending support and rallying me all the way since we started our coaching relationship this year, it has been a good six months and she bowled me over again and again, each call just got better and better I ran out of words to describe the impact this powerful lady has brought to my life as a businesswoman! And also a big thanks for Mr Yap Keong Foon of Business Connection Hub www.fb.com/bchmalaysia for inviting me to speak and a pat to my own shoulder for accepting the invite and bite the bullet and do it anyway and to my long time friend and new biz partner Mei for her secret agent deftness in getting things done on the back end and last but not least to my darling husband CS Lee, the father of our two kids, for his sleepless nights helping me with the music editing and slides for my presentation, what would I do without all your love and support, it has been a great 2016 so far and there are 3 months and 2 weeks more to go!!! Let's make this year the best year yet!!! #allpumpedup #suetiong #motivation Now that the immense relief has washed over, and 24 hours have passed since the event it is a good time for reflection. It has indeed been an eventful and fruitful 2016 so far and it will only get better from now on. Believe it shall and it will.

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