I feel that many adults (me included) are suffering from some form of depression or childhood trauma, which results in some undesirable things that we do.
Now, now don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing serious although in some cases the cases are really serious. It’s day to day “normal” thing. Like “Don’t speak, a child is supposed to be seen not heard”, and the child learns to shut up and fears to speak or express feelings to anyone, which resulted in the basis of dysfunctional future relationships because I truly believe in the importance of sharing and speaking and expressing our feelings and creating a safer space for everyone in the relationship to reciprocate the sharing.
So when I encounter such adults in life, I see myself in them. I learned not to take the “abuse” or hurtful remarks or action against me as “personal” by taking this approach to see an aspect of myself in them. Internalising it to not take It personally, if that makes sense.
I see a little child inside of that person. The child as per the picture below.
A child who needs validation, needs a safe space just to be, needs a safe space to tell the truth even though the truth hurts, and a safe space to make mistakes and not be judged.
I am NOT condoning the wrong and the hurt and harm these people may have caused, if they killed someone they need to be judged by court and face legal consequences, if they steal then they must return whatever they stole and pay for it with legal consequences... I am writing this for YOU. Yes You and Me. People who were “victims”.
I use the past tense “were”.
We were victims. We ARE no longer victims now. It is our choice to walk away from our past with our Chin high up. Not with boastful pride but with dignified elegance, with GRACE.
When we don’t resort to wanting to hurt the other person back, we break the cycle of “you hurt me, I hurt you back, you hurt me even more, I hurt you back even more, etc”.
The BUCK STOPS HERE.
AND IT STOPS NOW WITH ME.
All of us have the power within us to make the buck stop here and have peace within. And with the peace within May the World be peaceful too.That’s my prayer for myself and for the World.
All pics are from Pixabay unless stated on the watermark with proper credit.
A parent’s prayer for their children: Unbreakable bond that lasts Long after their parents are gone. ❤
Who is Sue Tiong?
I’m a Mother first before I am a Wife and a Daughter and a sister and a friend. I am a woman in my own right. These do get different priorities at different time in life but they will always be my TOP 6. ❤
My career comes in 7th. Yes it may seem too slow or Too fast. You may not be able to fathom this woman called Sue Tiong. #SueTiong is a Mother and wife first, and a woman in her own right and doesn’t fit into any boxes or stereotype.
I get women who asked me don’t I miss my kids when I travel for my career. I used to feel extreme and deep GUILT when I get these remarks. I feel judged.
And I do get looks of pity from men when they asked me who takes care of my kids when I travel; the answer is my darling hubby. They pity my hubby for having me as a Wife. 🤷🏼♀️
I used to feel an extreme sense of being irresponsible and I even felt I was worthless as a mother and a Wife... as a Daughter who’s always absent and a Sister and Friend who’s only available online and never in person.
The feeling of GUILT and Shame ate into my very core and the feeling isn’t something I’d like to revisit anytime soon. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my enemy.
THE BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENED WHEN I REALISED:
❤ My kids still love me no matter what.
❤ My Husband still supports and loves me no matter what.
❤ My parents and siblings and friends still give me their full blessings regardless of what I decide to do as Long as I am happy and comfortable (I take care of my well-being) - My Father named me Comfortable and Happy as the meaning of my Chinese name. Oh yes my name is still shortish, three syllables including my surname Tiong. There, I do have a middle name Yii. It means happy.
Today I reclaim my birth right to be happy:
I’ve left out the Happy Joyful word from my name for more than a decade. Time to reclaim it. Time to be truly happy.
I shall be happy and joyful and not let others’ opinion of me taint my feelings towards what I already know very well is my calling and destiny.
I have no right to judge anyone as I don’t live your life. If I am judged oh well it isn’t your life. And your opinion of me doesn’t pay the bills. 😊
May everyone find inner peace and joy. 🙏🏻❤
This is my first blog post for the New Year.
In my part of the world it is already dawn of the New Year of 2018, the sun is rising and yet the rain poured. It has been raining for three days and my kids hardly had any water play time in our family vacation but they are not complaining... Ah the joys of being little human beings. The innocence and how simple they think.
Becoming a parent made me reflect a lot. Why do kids need to rebel and do the complete opposite of what you tell them to do? It is to exert their independence and to find the strength in saying NO.
The #MeToo campaign brought on a lot of confessions and a lot of victims, men and women and girls and boys all stood up and shared.
In September 2017, three unlikely women formed a trio that became the basis of Project Cahaya -means Light in the Malay language. Our target is the youth, especially those who are below age 12. Call them children, call them kids, they are our youth, the light of hope for the future of our world.
It all started with a story of a girl. To protect her identity there will be no location and no year. I shall not entertain any queries if it is even me.
She was only 12 years old when her innocence was taken away by her male relative. She woke up on a school day with the man on TOP of her, having his way with her, in other words, raping her.
She ran to the house opposite of where she stays and her female relative told her to get ready to school and brushed off her complaint of the rape, the adults did not know how to handle the situation.
She got to school and confided in her teacher and was sent to the hospital for medical examination which confirmed that sex has indeed occured.
The next thing you know, her case was brushed under the carpet. “She’s a slut, it’s her fault”. Never mind that she’s an underage and it is her first sexual experience.
She’s judged, she’s made to feel that she’s to be blamed for her own rape by the very adult who was supposed to protect her and keep her safe. She’s shamed and labelled a slut. She’s only 12.
Project Cahaya aims to provide a safe space for the children to express themselves and learn to trust themselves to heal and to trust the world again. These children are supposed to be protected and yet for some, fate and the adults around them betrayed that very early in their lives.
If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, I am sorry. What I am sharing; it is very real. Child abuse happens throughout the world, many suffering in silence. Many with no voice; many don’t even have a choice to say No or walk away.
This is some heavy post for a brand new year but while we celebrate it is also apt to remember those who are not as fortunate as we are, if we don’t do anything about it, life goes on and nothing change.
Let’s take a look at the actions taken by females and even males around the world in the last century.
Is it all muscles and grit and all hard to be strong?
Do we need to break the glass ceiling all the time and have our hands and body bleed each time we fight to break the glass ceiling? Not only women but humans in general and the existing discrimination in place.
Women, and also the minority, especially in the last 100 years felt a need to emulate men in order to stand up for themselves, however is masculinity the only way to be strong?
Is it a battle or a competition to see who is stronger?
Why can’t we have mutual respect regardless of who we are?
What does strength mean to you?
For me it means grace in adversity and the ability to gracefully exit when you want to.
Strength is in the power to say No, and Enough, and move on.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, may the world be the best that it can ever be in 2018 and beyond. ❤️
All pictures and photographs are credited to Pixabay and my personal collection.
I am a very patriotic person. I act like a man in my speedy decisions. However as a woman, I am all mushy with a marshmallow heart. Hence it took me awhile to 'digest' this quote from Virginia Wolfe. Only when I turn on the 'woman' mode could I fully delve into the profound meaning of being a woman with the whole world as her country. ❤️
As this Sue Tiong's writing, expect a pretty long read ahead. 🙏🏻😘
This is my take on this. My own interpretation and not what Virginia Wolfe meant. ❤️
As a woman, especially as a mature woman, and risking me appearing like a feminist, a woman just want the whole world to just get along, be at peace, loving and caring, no more war, husbands come home to a warm home with food served on the table, kids and children grow up in a very conducive environment where they get basic education, basic hygiene, all the basic necessities, parents coexist in harmony, I didn't say stay together or don't divorce sometimes separation is inevitable but we can still be civil about it.
Don't get me started on the negatives and the bad and ugly of this world. Isn't it too much already?
Instead let me bring your attention to my own experience where it doesn't matter which country or which flag you fly, ultimately everyone is the same. Some beg to differ saying we don't operate the same way we have different cultures we speak different languages. Yes you are right. And when you choose to see that humans are the same, you are right too.
I may be an anomaly but hear me out, bear with me as I type this out.
I grew up as the only girl of Chinese descent in my class for a whole 6 years in the same school.
My playmates are of different tones of brown and yellow and yet we still play (and cry and made up almost immediately).
When I scraped my knee I bleed, so did the other kids. Our blood is red. It's the same.
And now fast forward 30 years my son is playing with a group of strangers in the playground of various ethnicities. He doesn't choose their colour he doesn't cringe at someone different than him. He's emulating me at the tender age of 4. Bless him. I plan to tell him to stay that way for as long as possible and be aware other people may judge us or react differently but that doesn't meant you have to react the same way.
As a mother and a woman, I truly believe I don't need to be divided or take sides on which country is better than the other. The world is truly one big country. The universe is one big home for all of us.
When I crash, my energy level takes a sudden dip the lethargy makes me so exhausted I even get tired I don't wish to speak or even hold a conversation, I guess the extrovert in me needs a holiday sometimes too and retreat inside so I think that qualifies me as an ambivert?
I have to remind myself that "Whatever that happens it must be good". My dad was hospitalised on the day I was flying off to South Africa. I did not announce that anywhere including on Facebook where I am most active on because that is personal and that is private. Despite my seemingly open profile across the World Wide Web, I do have internal filter and you think you know me but really there are more layers to me that you need to peel off and see me for who I truly am. So unless you know me well, refrain from judging too much please.
Humans are funny sometimes. The moment they see I own businesses and that I am a serial entrepreneur globe trotting from the USA to South Africa and I regularly ply between two countries to conduct training and workshop in Asia where I am based in, they automatically assume I have it easy and I lead a comfortable life and some even started begging. Yes, begging, and demanding and even extortion. I have had to lodge police reports before but that won't stop me from doing what I put my heart into and I shall continue to do it well and strive for excellence.
Just because I am the founder of a social enterprise called Millionairemom Asia does NOT mean I can give away cash for free. A social enterprise means NO Donation. The beneficiary/recipient under Millionairemom Asia are all required to commit long term and they needed to pull their weight and do their part and if that is not clear - WORK AND PUT IN EFFORT - bekerja keras untuk menjana pendapatan in Bahasa Malaysia.
Just because I own many businesses and partner with like-minded individuals from many different countries does NOT mean I can be YOUR mouthpiece to curry favour from my partners and even my business networks. You build your own connection and I am not paid to speak on your behalf with someone else. I mind my own business. Yes I am a connector but once the introduction has been made you are on your own. If you didn't make it into my Personal Recommendation Album on my Facebook profile I needed more time and more conviction before I will vouch and die protecting your brand. Loyalty is not to be taken lightly if you get what I mean.
I literally die a little, yes a part of me die each time I leave home to fly and live the high flyer life where you see me smiling in my pictures. I am a mother and a wife and my babies are born in 2013 and 2016, so you do the Maths and you will see how young they are. I know they are in good care and hubby is a hands on father but each time and yes EACH and Every single moment I am away from them I miss them so much. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I have to learn to forgive myself and be less harsh on myself: At this point in time I choose to fly to pursue my dreams to be a role model to my two babies so they will know the important lesson that self achievement for the greater good will not have to stop and "Children are not excuses, They are your reason to work harder." You are not in my situation so save some for yourself.
I do sleep and I do rest and I don't exactly need to inform the world when I am exactly working and when I am not. Even hubby does not need to know the specifics. Do I even need to announce when I am about to make love? Do I even need to take pictures of my baby's poo-soiled diapers? Do I even need to share all that you are curious about? To what end? Will that information save the world or save a life or contribute to the betterment of the world in the long run? No? Then quit the entitled attitude to my private life.
I strongly believe in engaging a coach, NOT mentor. Mentors can be cheaper or even free and you can have a mentor for life but you may not be held accountable to see things through. I have been blessed to have excellent coaches including Coach Cherie Eilertsen from JT Foxx Organization and Now I am looking forward to my one full day on-site coaching with Coach Joey Falcone also from JT Foxx Org.
Do these coaching sessions cost me a lot of money? Yes definitely, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys you get what I am saying? What you pay for is what you get.
Have I gotten back the money spent? Yes and many times over including the inmeasurable benefits from the body soul and mind level which lends to a more harmonious relationship with family and friends and at work and that makes me an even nicer and more peaceful person.
Is JT Foxx a scam? Not for me. It depends on how much are you willing to invest in yourself in terms of money and effort. Giving time to work on something is a form of investment because while you can recoup money, you cannot get back time. That is why I am rushing and doing so much while my kids are still small, to plant the seeds which I hope will bloom into a beautiful garden by the time they are in school and I can lie back and enjoy the view.
I have seen JT Backstage and JT in a private setting right after his highly energetic speech where he presents at his highest level. No one works harder than this man, he is almost a machine. He gives his entire self and more, each time he gives 110%. Yes he is not likeable to some but he is not here for a popularity contest. I am so glad I signed up for him as well as some other speakers at the Robert Kiyosaki platform where Success Resources had it in October 2015. Time flies, it has been over a year and I am a repeat customer for JT Foxx Org. Why? They are NOT cheap, whoever are in this network are willing to make an initial investment which is worth a lot and that speaks volumes about the character and mindset of those who are a part of #FamilyFirst I rest my case.
Speaking of rest, whenever I feel high-strung I will turn to my baby girl and smell her pretty little head or if she is sleeping I can't help but smile looking at her peaceful face like an angel when she is deep asleep.
So yeah, sleep like a baby and take a rest when you are tired but Never ever Quit doing what you have already set out to do.
May the new year of 2017 be an even better year for everyone. I know 2016 has been a spectacular year which is so transformational on all levels I am so grateful to everyone whom I connected with, yeah including the haters, haters will hate, so that's inevitable and I need to be nonchalant about it I guess, we are all still a work in progress.
Joy, peace and love
Check out my business webpage
Happy birthday to my darling husband, my rock of support, my pillar of strength and my security net which catches me whenever I fall and my gentle wind that caresses my wounded soul that lent me the courage to try again after each time I stumble, my consistent safe space provider and my confidante who knows me as much as I know myself if not better, a loving father and hands on in everything that he does... we have grown so much since we have been together for more than 13 years our love have matured as we have physically aged, may we cherish more wonderful moments here and now and while I don't dare to think of the day we will part, I pray for many more happy years with you and our little family ahead.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR HUSBAND.
Love you for eternity.
Xoxo Sue Tiong
Happy birthday, JT Foxx, the world's No 1 Wealth Coach
My businesses knew no limit after meeting you! It has been the best year yet for my husband and I and having a strong support system in the business network JT brought together with his annual Family Reunion and many live events globally you can check out his schedule at www.jtfoxxlive.com #JTFoxx #FamilyFirst #Loyalty
Results Don't Lie and for those of you who are just about to start a business or already owning businesses, a solopreneur or already manages over 300 staff member, his team of coaches are the cream of the crop and one of the best things that happened this year (besides our surprise baby girl) is meeting Power Coach Cherie Eilertsen.
Thank you JT Foxx, people say you change countries one country at a time, but for me you have changed my entire life and I could see that you genuinely care, so by being loyal and genuine, that is how you change lives one at a time and in turn change an entire generation of entrepreneurs globally. Such powerful impact I won't be surprised if you win the Nobel Prize soon!
Happy Birthday JT. Have a blast and please don't stop changing lives, changing the world. #FamilyFirst
With gratitude and pride to be part of the JT Foxx Family First, Sue Tiong
The top picture is of the collage of pictures of JT Foxx the World's No 1 Wealth Coach and of me and my husband when we first signed up to be part of the JT Foxx #FamilyFirst on Dec 4, 2015.The other picture at the top is of the vision board which my husband CS Lee has created one Friday morning (today Sept 2, 2016), and just seeing it brought so much meaning and emotion to the both of us. Read on....
You know you can sleep and feel safe and protected and truly feel very much loved when you have a roof over your head and a dry bed
to sleep at night, and your man comes home to you and your kids at the end of each day if he can help it because you know a man has gotta work.
My man is a man of few words but when it matters he talks, oh how precious are the words spoken on those rare occasions when I hear his voice it is like music to my ears. We are the most unlikely couple as we are totally polar opposites in terms of our mannerisms and behaviours but we share the same values in love and in life especially on parenting and family (extended family) and oh well you get what I mean when I say values like honesty and integrity, being hands on parents, remembering to nurture and provide water and nourishment to the plants of love in our heart and work on our marriage, that kind of stuff.
With a son who just barely grew out of his toddlerhood and a baby girl, being hands on parents means our evenings are reduced to very limited family time, let alone couple time but we make do and we scrap by with whatever time and minutes we can get with the faith that our trust in each other and just hang in there and hey, our tolerance level and our patience have really stretched and known new definitions having had the practice of dealing with two small kids we are almost like automatons day in day out.
Then this morning I woke up when our baby girl needed her feeding and then we walked down the stairs and saw this newly updated vision board. He woke up at 5am to do his mindfeeding (to nourish the mind to grow as a better human) and lo and behold two hours later the picture above has been created.
Sept 2, 2016, one month shy of my birthday, I got a very touching vision of my man speaking to me his deepest aspirations and vision in life and for our family and his commitment to be a man by being a good father. He chose five quotes that spoke the depths of his heart and soul and shared them with me. I choked back the emotions and got on with our day as we needed to rush to meet the World's No 1 Wealth Coach JT Foxx in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia so off we ushered in the kids into the car.
We got this vision board idea from a very inspiring session with the ever amazing Coach Cherie Eilertsen who is one of the top coaches in the JT Foxx Organization. She is an exemplary businesswoman, she is a powerhouse, yet she remained grounded by being a good daughter, mother, firmly rooted in her religious beliefs and practices and truly living her life to the fullest as a successful woman while helping so many others to realize their fullest potential, including me, Sue Tiong, I am proud to be one of her students. Her sharing on how she had a vision board for her two children when growing up and the family sitting down together every week to work on their visions left a very deep impression on me and the first thing I did was to order a white board for me and hubby first as our kids are still small. You can google more about this exemplary vision of a woman Cherie Eilertsen from South Africa. I would not have met her if not for the JT Foxx Org. So THANK YOU JT Foxx!
Yes, JT Foxx is a business coach, owner of more than 50 businesses globally, he is the real deal and his global network of businesses and people in his network provided so much support via the power of connection and the pool of resources you gain from being part of the family #FamilyFirst is amazing. It is beyond amazing! Words cannot even start to describe the transformational change that happened to me and my husband and to a certain degree to the people around us.
Not only our paradigm shift has happened by discarding totally irrelevant old mindsets that were blocking our progress, both me and my husband have felt like we have improved by leaps and bounds, the 'we' this year is different from the 'we' last year.
Our businesses thrive and you can say it exploded a few times in a good way. The domino effect of the power of the speed of implementation as professed by JT Foxx the man himself has served us well in our decision making process which is: What is the worst thing that can happen. Can you live with that? If yes then decide. 5..4..3..2..1. Decide.
We never looked at a menu at a restaurant for longer than 5 minutes now, thanks to that, and also because we have two little ones and everything needs to be fast so a business coach's principle has served us well as parents. Haha.
Besides that, our time management skills have greatly improved as well and boy that really helps when you need to be everywhere in business with kids and with your spouse and your friends and family.
By being better businesspeople, we have inadvertently become better human beings. Our marriage thrives too and in a blur of sleepless nights with sick kids and a newborn at one point (thank God for sleep training and sleeping through the night) and now that we look back, our connection as husband and wife is stronger than ever and when I see my husband's vision board this morning, that was when I felt like kissing the ground and give Thanks and I am truly grateful life after meeting JT Foxx has been a real adventure, with challenges, achievements and great experiences and growth, and it has not even been a full year yet!!!
I know his branding ain't about building up couple relationships but for those of you who are scared to venture out into a business just because you fear you won't get the support from your partner, choose to go to JT Foxx. Www.meetjtfoxx.com or click on the picture below. You can pay for one person and be entitled to bring a partner (ideally a biz partner) and don't fret if your partner refuses to attend on the first day because mine didn't too... on Dec 4, 2015, I finally managed to convince hubby to attend Day 2 of JT Foxx live and the rest, they say is history.
How much have I gained since I joined JT? Have I gotten back the money I invested? Yes, yes and yes many folds and many times over. And the returns are beyond money, the ripple effect extends beyond monetary gains!!! You know it has given me so much value that includes Joy, new friendships and stronger network, strengthened faith and confidence and JT truly has a heart of gold underneath all that power suit persona and I am one of the privileged ones to have witnessed that. Am I paid to write this? No. The trigger was my husband's vision board this morning and it has only been a few hours my heart is telling me to write this and post it anyway.
I love you even more my darling husband for growing together with me, growing old together and growing as a person and growing our businesses separately with each other side by side and being partners in parenting, and for believing in me when I told you to meet JT Foxx on Dec 4, 2015 before the two days ended. It was a big risk that I took and it paid off. You said yes to it.
That was the best decision you have ever made besides choosing to marry me of course. *wink*
So Thank You JT Foxx for doing all that you do!!! Keep touching more lives and keep changing lives and even countries everywhere you go.
So with a smile and a wave I shall say: "Bye Bye Haters" and I choose to focus on what truly matters and indeed life from now on will only be better and better!
I cannot even be an affiliate to sell anything as you can see from my obvious lack of technical skills to even set up a proper website. My next action is to get help to learn how to get a better looking template/layout for this site.
I am technically impaired believe it or not, this website is so bare I don't even have a follow me on Twitter or Facebook buttons but you can look me up @SueTiong www.fb.com/suetiongofficial