It is very important to keep a supportive network of people around you. When times got tough and I felt like quitting it takes just one word to make or break me. I choose to hang on to any morsel of support I could get when I was faced with challenges, when I felt like giving up and it was just too hard to continue, life goes on with or without me, with or without my contribution, it is so easy to succumb to pressure and choose to believe the naysayers or the “words of logic” spoken by those who said those words out of misguided concern without really knowing what keeps your fire burning inside. ”The only person who makes you feel negative is YOU.” Thank you Pooja Rajan for reminding me this today. 💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️ With great gratitude. I am reminded again and again of just how much blessed I am. I choose to not feel like victim and I allow myself to step into my full power right now. Thank you to every person who touched my life, in every way, even those who provoked negative thoughts and reactions from me, we only learn when there is a curve, not when we drive on a straight road. I am a better person thanks to Life’s lessons. Life has been a great compassionate teacher to me. I am who I am today, a woman who is so powerful I can do whatever I want anytime I want to if I put my mind and heart to it, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need reminder from time to time, my deepest gratitude to everyone who supported me from birth till now, my family and friends and of course that includes my siblings, parents, relatives and friends and most importantly the one closest to me now - my Husband Lee Chong Siang Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Judge me all you want, Call me a coward, Call me lazy, Call me not doing anything worthwhile, Call me useless, Give me that look of disgust, Give me that eye of pity, Look down on me, Look and sneer at me, Call me a coward for wanting to escape it all, When everything seems bleak and no point to it all, Say all that you want, I finally don’t care anymore. Let me Rest In Peace. - Depression is Real, It is a Silent Killer, Continue Judging something you don’t feel, Go On, Feel good about yourself. Thank you very much. To raise awareness of understanding depression.
I feel that many adults (me included) are suffering from some form of depression or childhood trauma, which results in some undesirable things that we do.Now, now don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing serious although in some cases the cases are really serious. It’s day to day “normal” thing. Like “Don’t speak, a child is supposed to be seen not heard”, and the child learns to shut up and fears to speak or express feelings to anyone, which resulted in the basis of dysfunctional future relationships because I truly believe in the importance of sharing and speaking and expressing our feelings and creating a safer space for everyone in the relationship to reciprocate the sharing. So when I encounter such adults in life, I see myself in them. I learned not to take the “abuse” or hurtful remarks or action against me as “personal” by taking this approach to see an aspect of myself in them. Internalising it to not take It personally, if that makes sense.
❤I see a little child inside of that person. The child as per the picture below. A child who needs validation, needs a safe space just to be, needs a safe space to tell the truth even though the truth hurts, and a safe space to make mistakes and not be judged. I am NOT condoning the wrong and the hurt and harm these people may have caused, if they killed someone they need to be judged by court and face legal consequences, if they steal then they must return whatever they stole and pay for it with legal consequences... I am writing this for YOU. Yes You and Me. People who were “victims”. I use the past tense “were”. We were victims. We ARE no longer victims now. It is our choice to walk away from our past with our Chin high up. Not with boastful pride but with dignified elegance, with GRACE. When we don’t resort to wanting to hurt the other person back, we break the cycle of “you hurt me, I hurt you back, you hurt me even more, I hurt you back even more, etc”. The BUCK STOPS HERE. AND IT STOPS NOW WITH ME. All of us have the power within us to make the buck stop here and have peace within. And with the peace within May the World be peaceful too. That’s my prayer for myself and for the World. ❤ #SueTiong All pics are from Pixabay unless stated on the watermark with proper credit.
A parent’s prayer for their children: Unbreakable bond that lasts Long after their parents are gone. ❤ Who is Sue Tiong? I’m a Mother first before I am a Wife and a Daughter and a sister and a friend. I am a woman in my own right. These do get different priorities at different time in life but they will always be my TOP 6. ❤ My career comes in 7th. Yes it may seem too slow or Too fast. You may not be able to fathom this woman called Sue Tiong. #SueTiong is a Mother and wife first, and a woman in her own right and doesn’t fit into any boxes or stereotype. 💃 I get women who asked me don’t I miss my kids when I travel for my career. I used to feel extreme and deep GUILT when I get these remarks. I feel judged. 😱 And I do get looks of pity from men when they asked me who takes care of my kids when I travel; the answer is my darling hubby. They pity my hubby for having me as a Wife. 🤷🏼♀️ I used to feel an extreme sense of being irresponsible and I even felt I was worthless as a mother and a Wife... as a Daughter who’s always absent and a Sister and Friend who’s only available online and never in person. The feeling of GUILT and Shame ate into my very core and the feeling isn’t something I’d like to revisit anytime soon. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my enemy. THE BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENED WHEN I REALISED: ❤ My kids still love me no matter what. ❤ My Husband still supports and loves me no matter what. ❤ My parents and siblings and friends still give me their full blessings regardless of what I decide to do as Long as I am happy and comfortable (I take care of my well-being) - My Father named me Comfortable and Happy as the meaning of my Chinese name. Oh yes my name is still shortish, three syllables including my surname Tiong. There, I do have a middle name Yii. It means happy. Today I reclaim my birth right to be happy: I’ve left out the Happy Joyful word from my name for more than a decade. Time to reclaim it. Time to be truly happy. ⭐ I shall be happy and joyful and not let others’ opinion of me taint my feelings towards what I already know very well is my calling and destiny. I have no right to judge anyone as I don’t live your life. If I am judged oh well it isn’t your life. And your opinion of me doesn’t pay the bills. 😊 May everyone find inner peace and joy. 🙏🏻❤
This is my first blog post for the New Year. In my part of the world it is already dawn of the New Year of 2018, the sun is rising and yet the rain poured. It has been raining for three days and my kids hardly had any water play time in our family vacation but they are not complaining... Ah the joys of being little human beings. The innocence and how simple they think. Becoming a parent made me reflect a lot. Why do kids need to rebel and do the complete opposite of what you tell them to do? It is to exert their independence and to find the strength in saying NO. The #MeToo campaign brought on a lot of confessions and a lot of victims, men and women and girls and boys all stood up and shared. In September 2017, three unlikely women formed a trio that became the basis of Project Cahaya -means Light in the Malay language. Our target is the youth, especially those who are below age 12. Call them children, call them kids, they are our youth, the light of hope for the future of our world.
She’s judged, she’s made to feel that she’s to be blamed for her own rape by the very adult who was supposed to protect her and keep her safe. She’s shamed and labelled a slut. She’s only 12.Project Cahaya aims to provide a safe space for the children to express themselves and learn to trust themselves to heal and to trust the world again. These children are supposed to be protected and yet for some, fate and the adults around them betrayed that very early in their lives. If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, I am sorry. What I am sharing; it is very real. Child abuse happens throughout the world, many suffering in silence. Many with no voice; many don’t even have a choice to say No or walk away. https://youtu.be/M9BNoNFKCBI This is some heavy post for a brand new year but while we celebrate it is also apt to remember those who are not as fortunate as we are, if we don’t do anything about it, life goes on and nothing change. Let’s take a look at the actions taken by females and even males around the world in the last century. Is it all muscles and grit and all hard to be strong? Do we need to break the glass ceiling all the time and have our hands and body bleed each time we fight to break the glass ceiling? Not only women but humans in general and the existing discrimination in place. Women, and also the minority, especially in the last 100 years felt a need to emulate men in order to stand up for themselves, however is masculinity the only way to be strong? Is it a battle or a competition to see who is stronger? Why can’t we have mutual respect regardless of who we are? What does strength mean to you? S-T-R-E-N-G-T-H For me it means grace in adversity and the ability to gracefully exit when you want to. Strength is in the power to say No, and Enough, and move on. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, may the world be the best that it can ever be in 2018 and beyond. ❤️ All pictures and photographs are credited to Pixabay and my personal collection.
In the end what really matters is how we feel. What we really remember are the good feelings which come with our memories. ❤️ It doesn’t matter how good-looking you were when you were young or how successful you were, in the end what people will remember are the most beautiful heart and soul. #death is inevitable. #life is a choice every single moment. #SueTiong My son is greatly disturbed tonight when we answered his question on why humans grow old... and ultimately all who are born will die, old or young. Death is inevitable. Then he started asking me: Will Papa grow old and die? Will grandma grow old and die? Will grandpa grow old and die? Will auntie grow old and die? Will uncle grow old and die? Will khai Ma (godma) YP Wee grow old and die? Will my best friend grow old and die? Then he answered it himself by shaking his head vehemently with a frown on his head, no my best friend Yuan Shao will not grow old, he’s a small boy. Then a worried look came and he looked at me and asked will Auntie Ed die too? How about Uncle Jay Larimore? It broke my heart to see the pain in his eyes. My son Ray is only 4 years old with a sensitive nature and a gentle heart, bless his soul, then his next question really broke my heart: Who will I have left if everyone die? I hesitated for a second before replying that by the time everyone who is big now is old and dead, he would be a grown man like his papa and then he asked further, will there still be monsters??? I then said because he’s already big like Papa, he can fend off the monsters from his own children. He will become a Papa too. I said Papa’s mother is Popo and she has passed away because she was sick. Then Ray asked me, are you sick too? I nearly choked and replied, I am still okay, I am still alive, my son. I prodded him to go up because it was way past his bedtime, today being Friday. He got to his bed and frowned further. He hugged his bolster tightly with his eyes wide open. I snuggled up beside him and told him that everything is alright. The biggest lie any parent can tell is “Everything is alright”. He doesn’t look convinced that everything is alright. I can almost hear his little mind whirring and working and grasping the concept of death and old age. Then I kept very still and asked for a guidance to how best to close this topic and let him find closure and peace before he falls off into his slumber. This is what I told him when I took his hand and drew on his palm and touched his forehead and kissed him gently: “When Papa’s mother passed away, she was gently carried away and loved. Whatever you need, just ask and you will be given. Think happy thoughts, don’t be angry. If you are angry at us, and you keep repeating I don’t want mama, I don’t want Papa, then one day you will really don’t have mama or papa anymore because your request is granted. Be very careful with your words.” With the lesson delivered, I continued: “Just like how your Popo (papa’s mother) is protected and loved, you are very much loved too. See this unicorn blanket gifted by Auntie Jacqueline Koay, if you think you are still scared, like you are trapped in a fire and want to escape and fly far far away (he is fascinated by fire and fire engine lately) then you think happy thoughts and call the unicorn, the unicorn can fly and carry you away from the fire and keep you safe. Remember that many people love you very very much. Okay?” He nodded and I tucked him in. Now I know why we need Unicorns and monster fighters. Oh my dear baby boy, being your mother opens up a whole new world to me and every day is a lesson and a gift that I am beginning to treasure and appreciate even more with the passing of each and every day. Thank you my son for reminding me of the impermanence of life. ❤️
- How do you eat the elephant? One bite at a time.
- How to you tackle a HUGE task? One small item on the checklist at a time.
- How do you finish writing a book? One word at a time.
- How do you complete the journey to success? One baby step at a time.
- I don't think we can ever complete the journey to success anyway. There is always room for improvement and the human species thrive and survive over the millennia by innovating and always pushing the limits and boundary.
- We are all still growing.
- We can choose to be happy or to be unhappy. May our journey in growth and fulfillment be filled with joyful steps!!!
- Happy October everyone! My fav month of the year just because it is my birth month lol.
- This year has been phenomenal for me and just when I thought it could not get better, here I am on 30th October typing this entry in excitement of a new opportunity and many new business ventures and so many new possibilities in the next coming weeks!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
- People matters. Relationship capital at its finest, yes I truly believe in building relationship capital. Be nice and be yourself - it will come around. How has your 10 months been so far? A baby should be born full term by now, that is how significant the year has been if you are to measure it to the length!
- Oct 31, 2017 - My first trip to the Philippines. Not for tourism but for business. Feeling glad, feeling excited, feeling thankful.
- So many firsts this year. I have been blessed and I am grateful and appreciate everyone who lend a hand to make this sure a truly wonderful year.
Don't announce your problems to the world looking for sympathy. Most don't care, many don't want to hear them and some are Glad you have them. Address your concerns to those who truly care, and only YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF. And so #SueTiong Writes again. ❤️ I've been guilty of playing victim for the longest time, "woe is me", it's never my fault entirely and I use my gift of gab to argue or present my case cleverly to make the others look bad, I didn't realise it at that time until some tough love lessons were delivered to me in the past two years and slowly I become more Aware when this pattern of playing victim started all over again and my goal is to nip it in the bud when I catch this habit pattern each time. I am not sure about men, but for me as a female, a highly sensitive female with my heart on my sleeve, I sometimes played the matyr as well. I will launch into a full on project or Mission to help someone or some cause and when something happened not to my expectation the entire cycle of "boohoo woe is me, all my sacrifice for nothing" internal talk happens again. I don't announce it to the world (at that time) but what I will do is to seethe inside and let the resentment fester, and when I got a cancer scare, it was a wake up call for me to take a hard look at my thought habit pattern in my life and how I generate these thoughts and the motivation behind them. What have I found so far? 1. We are all work in progress until the day we die. Celebrate every small win along the way. Ultimately there is NO FINAL GOAL because once you have scaled the highest peak, you will find that there is another higher peak for you to climb and once you reach that higher peak, you realise it's not the highest peak And so you proceed and walk on and soldier on. 💪🏻What's the process of scaling all the peaks if we draw it in a single line? The line will be a curve that is up and down and up and down and up and down and that's life!!! Just because you see another higher goal doesn't mean you need to discount your current achievement of making it to the current peak! Celebrate each win, no matter how small or insignificant! We deserve it! 🎉 2. Just like brushing our teeth daily, so does the same practice of purifying our thoughts, unless of course we choose not to live anymore so we don't need to consume any food, hence our mind won't be fed with any stimulation or input, which is impossible as Long as we are still alive. Being present in the moment, be compassionate, catch our unwholesome thoughts and transmute negativity into love peace and joy, as corny as it sounds, we need a regular detox, mind, body and soul. So do what you need to do. ☺ 3. Trust. I have learned to trust a few people after being burned many times by others. Don't lose faith and don't lose your trust. With each betrayal, I look at the lesson, I learn how to discern true friends who are really concerned about you as opposed to those who aren't so invested in your well being. Trust the process of hurt and continue to trust. We will all go through that and your tribe will come to you, just continue to trust, especially trusting yourself.😍 4. It's okay to say NO and take back your words. Change is okay. While accountability states that we need to keep to our words and commitment, depending on the situation and circumstances and changes, sometimes it is okay to back out when things don't work out. You can't force it. There's no happiness in force. So there, release your guilt and move on. You don't owe anyone any explanation, just follow your instincts. The only person you need to answer to is you and you alone. 👌🏻 5. Forgive yourself. Start by forgiving yourself. And the rest shall fall into place. It took me many years to realise this and of course I'm still a work in progress. Self preservation and self care are not sins, forgive yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. ❤ 6. Have a look deep look within yourself on a daily basis. Spend time with yourself. Be quiet and be still. I never dared to be quiet or be still it was like I couldn't stand the silence and needed to talk at each moment. So for the extrovert right brained people, I feel you. Took a lot of inner resolve to be still and yes while I am still a work in progress, I'm Glad to take the advice from well meaning individuals who care and now I like spending time with myself alone and in silence. Try it! ⭐ 7. We all have the answers when we ask any question.💡 Follow Sue on her fb page www.fb.com/suetiongofficial or Instagram sue_tiong And twitter @suetiong
AND THEN WHAT? Been awhile.... Since Sue is writing again, expect this to be pretty Long. Popcorns ready. 😂 I had five back to back conference calls today including many conversations this evening at a business networking event. Connected with a few of them and I realised that ultimately, the theme is the same. "What next after you have fame, wealth, fortune?" You have food on the table, a roof over your head, you are mobile and can get around, you have a reputation, strong presence, a family, a career, SUCCESS, in other words you want for nothing, so what is next? If you do business only for money, after awhile all you will get is money and only money. There will be a void inside that money can't fill up. You will find that money cannot take away your misery, at least not permanently. You will crave for the fastest newest edition of your gadgets, your luxury cars, I am not one for cars but I am guilty of that for my phones, I have more than 4 phones, guilty as charged. I justify them with the lamest reasons, like I need to be connected all the time, it is a false need, I survived 12 days without my phone at my silent retreat and I didn't die 😂. You may indulge in intoxicants or crave for the high that alcohol or recreational drugs provide, you escape that void inside for awhile and then what? That is only a quick fix, or is it really a fix or a plaster over an infected open wound? Deep inside there is a longing to cry out loud or just to get someone to truly understand the pain you feel inside... what is this void inside, why do I keep reverting to my old thinking habits that makes me seem like a hamster on the wheel, the only problem is... the wheel is turning but the hamster has passed out. In this chase for more and MORE AND MORE, after you have more, you want more. The rush of adrenaline, the high you get when you are elated, the blood rushing to your head when you are excited. And then the crash comes... AND THEN WHAT. There was a time when I feel like I was just going through the motion, I knew I had to keep moving or else I will be consumed by the void. The fear to face the void was very true. I felt like escaping, like you are on the run and you are only running from your own shadow. Inside, deep inside, you feel so tired and you question everything that you know and you doubt everything and everyone you know. Oh yes, broken business partnerships, death of friendships and relationship, we have our own day to day struggles. Then I realised I was just running away from my own shadow. My fear was totally unfounded. And when I talk to people, and I look into their eyes, I see me, I see my fear, I see my hope, we are all the same. We have the same feelings. We are all humans. Money buys happiness but it cannot bring you true joy and peace. Happiness is good. Joy is deep. Peace is one thing many with money is lacking nowadays. I had a glimpse of inner peace earlier this month when I was a nobody and only a number on the list and not talking to anyone of the 100 over people... It was not exactly a holiday, it was a break with hard work, working to face my inner demons and fulfilling my commitment to stay the entire 10 days. It was the best proudest achievement of mine so far, for staying on and for making sure I completed the strict regime right till the end, I will go again next year. ❤️ For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, check out this link: https://www.dhamma.org/en/index Oh don't get me wrong, I am not going to give up life as I know it or sell off all my businesses and become a recluse or a nun. AND NOW WHAT? I finally found some peace. And my heart is bursting with joy and love, that I want to share this with anyone who is looking for some peace, joy and love. And to truly smile from the heart, that feeling is simply amazing. 🙏🏻😊❤️ Something is brewing, something beautiful, something which aims to spread the art of living in peace and blending harmoniously with our pursuit of wealth. Now that is exciting! I have decided not to upgrade my phone for the next one year because I HAVE ENOUGH, and I have all that matters now. And I choose not to let the little voice of doubt inside take over my decisions. I AM NOT A BAD MOTHER FOR LEAVING my children while I travel. Whatever that I do is with them in mind. Just because you cannot understand why I can't do it your way doesn't mean that my way is wrong. Yes, I finally found peace because my biggest obstacle is my definition of being a good Mother. I cannot be the perfect Mother, I can only be a good Mother who is happy and at peace. I truly am at peace now and I am happy. ❤️ Once my energy shifted, the people around me shifted as well. Some got drawn closer, some seemed to be repelled and backed off and some totally exited my life. The only permanent thing in life is CHANGE. The only definite thing in life is DEATH. The only chance we have is NOW. So live in the moment. I CHOOSE ME. I choose to continue being me. I shall help whoever I want and I shall act on my gut feelings and intuition/6th sense whatever you call it; it has served me well over the years. As I enter my late 30s getting closer to 40, I am Glad all the pain happened when they did and all the paths I took led me to right where I am now which is exactly where I needed to be. On the 10th Anniversary of your death my precious baby, I can finally let you go... my angel. My firstborn who didn't even breathe even one gasp of air. You healed me physically and I allowed myself to grieve for you for 10 years like a living dead. I am ready to let you go now my precious little angel. I knew you can't make it today before you finally left my body 2 weeks later, call it a mother's instinct. Thank you for coming into my life no matter how brief. I release all the guilt that I am a bad Mother for not being able to allow you to grow and live. I release you now my baby. I am finally at peace. ❤️ This blog post is dedicated to all women and men who have experienced the loss of a loved one in any way at all and also to all the human beings who feel that there is more to life than just birth, and money and death. May we all find inner peace and true joy within.
I am a very patriotic person. I act like a man in my speedy decisions. However as a woman, I am all mushy with a marshmallow heart. Hence it took me awhile to 'digest' this quote from Virginia Wolfe. Only when I turn on the 'woman' mode could I fully delve into the profound meaning of being a woman with the whole world as her country. ❤️ As this Sue Tiong's writing, expect a pretty long read ahead. 🙏🏻😘 This is my take on this. My own interpretation and not what Virginia Wolfe meant. ❤️ As a woman, especially as a mature woman, and risking me appearing like a feminist, a woman just want the whole world to just get along, be at peace, loving and caring, no more war, husbands come home to a warm home with food served on the table, kids and children grow up in a very conducive environment where they get basic education, basic hygiene, all the basic necessities, parents coexist in harmony, I didn't say stay together or don't divorce sometimes separation is inevitable but we can still be civil about it. Don't get me started on the negatives and the bad and ugly of this world. Isn't it too much already?
Instead let me bring your attention to my own experience where it doesn't matter which country or which flag you fly, ultimately everyone is the same. Some beg to differ saying we don't operate the same way we have different cultures we speak different languages. Yes you are right. And when you choose to see that humans are the same, you are right too. I may be an anomaly but hear me out, bear with me as I type this out. I grew up as the only girl of Chinese descent in my class for a whole 6 years in the same school. My playmates are of different tones of brown and yellow and yet we still play (and cry and made up almost immediately). When I scraped my knee I bleed, so did the other kids. Our blood is red. It's the same. And now fast forward 30 years my son is playing with a group of strangers in the playground of various ethnicities. He doesn't choose their colour he doesn't cringe at someone different than him. He's emulating me at the tender age of 4. Bless him. I plan to tell him to stay that way for as long as possible and be aware other people may judge us or react differently but that doesn't meant you have to react the same way.As a mother and a woman, I truly believe I don't need to be divided or take sides on which country is better than the other. The world is truly one big country. The universe is one big home for all of us. *Peace* #SueTiong